Rejuvenated
by Becky136
Summary: Third story in the Forgotten Trilogy. Everything seems to be going great, but is it really?
1. Beautiful

**Beautiful**

**~AKON FT. COLBY O'DONNIS~**

My Billa's arms wrapped around me tightly. Lightning flashed and thunder shook every little bit of my being. Splatters of water pounded against the window like bullets. I shut my eyes tightly, wishing it all away. Scattered thoughts ran through my mind in non-understandable patterns. White obscured my vision once again and I felt a squeeze.

"Shh, Star. It's all going to be OK. It's just a storm, beautiful." My fiancé's soothing voice ran over me. I tried to even my breathing to his. I couldn't figure out what's wrong with me. Usually I love thunder storms.

I just buried my face into his chest, breathing in the heaven that was Bill. Slowly I was regaining control of myself, the sobbing was quieting. Still, I clung to him as if I let him go, he'd disappear. I closed my eyes but instantly regretted it. The nightmare that had frightened me in the beginning returned.

"Honey," Bill ran small circles on my back as he spoke, "please tell me what's wrong?"

I couldn't refuse telling him when he begged like that. "It was horrible." I murmured into his chest.

"What was?" His brows furrowed as he tried to figure it out.

"My dream," I paused. Slowly I gathered my nerve and told him. "You were, you were lying on the road in the middle of a storm like this. I tried to run to you but the faster I ran, the farther away you were."

"I told you I wouldn't leave you." He whispered, holding me tightly. "I never break my promises."

I almost reminded him, but I only wanted him there. The pain of my heart breaking wouldn't do me any good right now. "Goodnight Bill." I whispered as his breathing became even once again.

**XXX**

"Hey babe," Georg winked at yet another girl who walked by. She smiled kindly but kept walking.

"Geo, when are you going to give up?" Bill asked in a resigned voice.

"Never!" He pretended to be shocked and offended. "Why on earth would you even ask me that?"

I bit back a giggle at Bill's answer. "Because you never win."

"I do too," The brunette pouted. "What was that party the other night? Did I score, or did I score?" His grin was a mile wide.

"Oh, psshhtt. You did neither." Bill scoffed at his friend. "If I recall correctly, you stuffed yourself with ice cream because you got turned down."

"No! I ate that ice cream because I love ice cream!" Geo played along. It was the usual banter.

It went on for a few minutes before I cleared my throat. "Are you guys done yet?"

"Nope, but you're welcome to join in." Bill said playfully, giving Georg a little jab in the ribs.

"Um, I'll pass." I stuck my tongue out at them. They returned kindly so I said, "Geo, Gustav did better than you the other day."

"No you didn't!" He grinned evilly. "You're in for it now."

I squeaked and literally took off at a run. Georg followed close behind and Bill was right beside me in seconds. Both their legs were so much longer than my own, so they gained quickly. Georg grabbed me around the waist and attacked. Between gasps for breath I shouted, "Bill, do something!"

My dark-haired boyfriend just shrugged. "I can't do anything."

"What, you don't have any hair spray on you?" I teased.

He smacked his face with his hand. "You're never going to let me live it down, are you?"

"Never!" I grinned before being attacked with tickles once again. "Bill, something against Georg quick? Before he kills me please!"

Thinking captured his mind and he zoned out. I mentally groaned, this was just great. Just then he burst out, "Hey Geo, how's _Alice_?"

The name seemed to hit a nerve, seeing as I was instantly dropped and landed on the floor in a heap. I shook my head to banish the dizzy stars. "We agreed," Georg started, "never to speak of _him _again"

Bill stuck out his tongue. "You were asking for it."

"Unfair, two against one!" The joking tone was back, but now I was curious. I kept my trap shut though, not wanting to make things more awkward than they really are. I just shook my head as the two of them continued to banter the rest of the night.

**XXX**

"To-o-o-om!" Amy called into the empty house. She grinned as she was greeted with silence. Turning to me and Lacy she said, "Come in."

I laughed, collapsing on their couch. All the bags fell around me in a heap. A few more thuds were heard as Lacy set her stuff down and landed beside me. Finally Amy was there too and we started talking wedding.

"So where are you guys having your weddings?" Lacy asked intently.

"Tom and I are going to have a big wedding in Magdeburg. We were hoping it would be one huge party." Amy grinned. Her and Tom's personalities fit together so well.

"Wow, that sounds like a fun time. Can't wait to get wasted!"

"I'm sure you can't." I rolled my eyes at my best friend's words.

She stuck her tongue out at me. "What about you little missy?"

"Actually, Bill and I want to just have something small. Something in the back yard." A small smile captured my lips at the thought. Perfections wasn't far off, and I knew it.

"Aww!" They both cooed. "That is to sweet."

Then Amy threw in, "What about alcohol?"

"Don't worry about it, there will be plenty of that." I grinned before bursting out in a full on laugh.

We enjoyed the afternoon. A girl's night in. Wedding plans flew around in the happiness. We all basked in our own little ray of sunshine. Dirty thoughts were pulled out of unknown depths by the alcohol that was opened halfway through. All of the laughter was causing me to lose my train of thought, and I found myself repeating the same things. Maybe it was just the alcohol.

**Author's Notes:**

**Hey guys... I know it's short but the first chappy usually is!!! hope u like it cuz I wanted to post the third story sooner than planned. Do you like the title I picked? I was so desperate trying to decide that I asked my dad for advice!! xP**

**Fluff rox!!! Haha... tell me wut u think! Pweaze? *Bill eyes***

**Sadly, I don't know or own the boys.**

***hands out Tokio Hotel cookies* thnx 4 reviews on all of my stories guys!! I luv u!**

**~BECKY~**


	2. By Your Side

**By Your Side**

**(Hmmm.... take a guess.... hint: TH43v4!!!)**

Groaning I rolled over. My eyes snapped shut as a small hint of light hit them. A headache pounded softly in the back of my head. Wearily, I sat up. Bad idea, I was laying back down in seconds. "Shh, relax." A cool clothe was placed on my forehead. "I think you girls got a little out of hand with that alcohol."

Bill's laughter irritated me, "We did not, it's the stupid sun."

"Ok baby, whatever you say." The bed sunk as he sat beside me. I snuggled into his warm body, loving the mere smell of him. After a while he broke the silence, "Tom says Amy is the same way."

"Shut up and let me sleep." I mumbled, my voice muffled by his slightly baggy clothes.

"Sure thing, you sleep off this hangover." Laughter played at the edges of his voice.

"Not a hangover," I grumbled before falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Dreams plagued me, but they were dreams of happiness. Little Bill's and little Sam's all running around. A nice house that was out in the country and out of everyone's way was were we sat. Bill and I holding hands, watching the sunset. Smiles holding our radiant faces.

Slowly I woke up. The headache was gone, but so was Bill. I stretched and smiled when my feet touched the fur of our new puppy. "Good morning Lai. How's my girl?" I cooed.

She looked up from where she lay, her ears poking up. I stifled a giggle as her tail started wagging. Quiet as a mouse she crawled up to lie beside me. Her soft fur smelt so clean and felt so soft.

"Are you tired girl? Did Bill have you up early for a walk again?" I scratched her behind the ears.

"I did not!" Bill exclaimed, walking in with two cups of coffee. "She woke _me_ up!"

"Aw muffin," I watched as he walked towards me. His perfect body was gorgeous.

"I like muffins, that's why there are none left for you." He stuck his tongue out at me.

I laughed, "Fine, but I get them next time."

"Only if you wake up before me. Here's your coffee though." Gingerly I took the steaming cup from his outstretched, never-ending fingers. "You're feeling better then?"

"Much. Thanks for letting me sleep. How'd I get home, anyway?" I watched him from over the rim of my cup. Just like when we were fourteen.

He just laughed, "As always my big brother Tomi was looking after you."

"Did he happen to overhear anything?" I asked wearily. Fragments of our conversations were coming back to me. "Last night was crazy."

"Nope," He gave me those damn innocent eyes.

"Come on Billa!" I jumped on him, "Tell me the truth!"

"I swear! Tomi told me nothing!" My fiancé shouted. My body pressed tight against his as our dog jumped on top of us. Bill laughed, trying to get her off. "Down Lai, down."

"I don't think she wants to Bill," I looked at my dog, trying not to laugh at Bill's expression. "She doesn't want to be left out of our fun."

Lai's tail started wagging. "How do you _do_ that?" His voice was filled with amazement.

"Do what?"

"Know how she's feeling and all that?"

"We've spent a lot of time together," I explained. "You get to know your pet quite well."

"Yeah I guess," His grin was like a two year old's, "I prefer you."

**XXX**

Leaning over the toilet bowl I groaned once again. Why was I so sick? How come I was so weak I couldn't stand? What kind of flu was this? All the questions that ran through my head disappeared as I leaned over once again.

Cool hands caught my loose hair and held it back. "Are you OK Star?" Bill's soft voice broke through the haziness.

I wiped my mouth with a cloth. "What does it look like?"

"Shh, I'm here for you. Just relax," he ran calming circles across my back. Slowly I felt my stomach settling and my mind drifting. He picked me up as though I was weightless and carried me to the bed. "Just rest honey." Then he started to sing.

_No one knows_

_How you feel_

_No one there_

_You'd like to see_

_The day was dark_

_And full of pain_

_You write "help"_

_With your own blood_

_Cos hope_

_Is all you've got_

_You open up your eyes_

_But nothin's changed_

The soothing smell of vanilla washed over me as my consciousness threatened to slip. Bill continued to rub the small circles on my back as he sang.

_I don't want_

_To cause you trouble_

_don't want to_

_Stay too long_

_I just came here to_

_say to you_

_Turn around— I am here_

_If you want— it's me you'll see_

_Doesn't count— far or near_

_I can hold you— When you reach for me_

Strong arms wrapped around me, holding me close. His voice vibrated in his chest, putting me even farther into sleep.

_Your life is meaningless_

_Your diary full of trash_

_It's so hard to get along_

_With empty hands_

_You're looking for the rainbow_

_But it died_

_Not long ago_

_It tried to shine just for you_

_Until the end_

_I don't want_

_To cause you trouble_

_don't want to_

_Stay too long_

_I just came here to_

_say to you_

_I am by your side_

_Just for a little while_

I cracked my eyes open to watch him. His dark halo of hair surrounded his thin face. I wanted to touch it, to feel it's smoothness, but I didn't dare. I couldn't stand for him not to finish a song part-way through.

_Turn around— I am here_

_If you want— It's me you'll see_

_Doesn't count— Far or near_

_I can hold you— When you reach for me_

_If the world makes you confused_

_And your senses you seem to lose_

_If the storm doesn't want to diffuse_

_And you just don't know what to do_

_Look around_

_I am here_

_Doesn't count_

_Far or near_

I closed my eyes once again and let Bill's voice wash over me. I let myself give in and just listen.

_I am by your side_

_Just for a little while_

_Turn around— Turn around_

_I am here— Turn around_

_Doesn't count— Far or near_

_Turn around— If you want_

_It's me you'll see— Turn around_

_I can hold you— When you reach for me_

_Turn around— I am here_

_Doesn't count— Far or near_

He whispered in my ear, his warm breath tickling me.

_I am by your side— Just for a little while_

_We'll make it if we try_

We lay in silence, our heartbeats matching each other's. Our breathing even. Eventually we fell to sleep, entangled in each other. Darkness was no longer our only friend.

**XXX**

**(TOM'S POV)**

"Yeah, she's feeling a little better," my little brother's voice carried softly over the phone.

I looked down at my sleeping fiance. Love was probably obvious in my eyes, and for once I wasn't even wearing sunglasses. The paparazzi didn't bother us here much anymore. Not since Saki and Tobi had ganged up on them anyway.

"You there Tomi?"

"Yeah, sorry Bill. What had you said?" I shook myself from my thoughts.

"I was just asking how Amy is." He stated simply.

"She's still sleeping. Those girls really had a party last night." I shook my head in amazement. They drank as much as us guys do, and they weigh so much less!

"Totally. I hope they learned from it." Bill's voice sounded slightly off, like he was lost in thought.

"Did you ever learn from it Billa?" I teased him.

"No," he sighed, "but neither did you."

"True, true. It's just to much fun to completely give up."

"I agree. Shit, our talking is waking Star up. I have to go, bye Tom." I heard the covers rustling. Bill was in their bed, same as I was.

"Ok Bill. Take care." With that I hung up. I put the phone on the bed-side table and turned around. "Holy mother-fucking bastard to roam earth!"

"Language Tom," Amy rolled her eyes, kissing me lightly. "Thanks for taking care of me."

"No problem Love. You know I'd do anything for you." I kissed her back.

"Ya. And that's why I love you."

"Is that the only reason?" I pulled away, pretending to be offended.

"Of course not, you're a pro in bed!" She giggled.

"Well, if that's what you think," I pinned her on the mattress. "I guess I can let your previous comment slide."

"You better Mr. Now kiss me." I obeyed whole-heartedly.

**Author's Notes:**

**Hey guys... im totes srry 4 the amazingly long wait!!! Not any reviews but one... and thnx btw... this is ur chappy!!! Anyway... i have a bum wrist so ur lucky this is even up now... meds truly doooooo help!!! They tend to make me either uber hyper or tired or both tho! xP**

**Black nail polish w/ white tips... a tip i learnt frum mr. Billa =] i don't know or own the boys!**

**Im so whipped rite now its not even funny... slept thro my alarm clock this morning!!! Haha.... hope u enjoy the chappy and review so i have motivation!! Reviews + u = updates!! (and cookies)**

***hands out cookies* thnx 4 reviews ppl!**

**~BECKY~**


	3. With Me

**With Me**

**~SUM 41~**

**(Back to Star's POV)**

"So we're going back on tour and your coming with us." Bill concluded as we sat watching TV. "You are coming with us, aren't you? I already told David you were."

"Are you asking me to come with you?" I hid my smile as I asked.

"Yes!" He exclaimed. "I love you and won't go unless you do."

"Well I guess I better not be the reason for the world being deprived of Tokio Hotel," I sighed, pretending to feel bad. "When do we leave?"

"Three weeks," he answered.

"Well I have to go see my family anyway today." I got up slowly. My sickness hadn't completely left yet.

"Are you sure you should be going? You know, if your sick and all." Bill's voice was laced with worry.

"I'll be fine, but you can come if you wish." I shrugged. My family loves Bill.

"Ok great! You're ready then?" He was already jumping in excitement.

"Does it look like I'm ready?" I laughed.

He shook his head, his dark locks flying everywhere. "Hurry up!"

"Alright Bill," I kissed his cheek, "just for you."

**XXX**

"Sammy!" Ben shouted, running full tilt at me.

I bent over and gave him a bear-hug. "Hi buddy! How are you?"

"I'm happy you're hear," he sounded so much older than his six years. "Mommy and Daddy are having coffee."

"Well let's go see them then. Are Ariel and Annie home yet?" I looked in the living room and received my answer. Both of the twins were there with some boys. "Hi girls," I waved.

"Hi Sam, hey Bill!" They both called in sync.

Bill laughed, "Hey girls!" He then nodded at the guys in the room who were watching with wide eyes. I guess they didn't expect someone who lives in a house this run down to know someone who basically rules Germany.

Once we were out of their ear-shot I murmured, "I still don't understand how you twins all do that."

"Neither do I," Bill grinned, holding my hand, "it just sort of happens."

"Yeah, and then Andi is like the third one of you guys." I shook my head, "Are we the only normal ones Ben?"

He nodded at me, "I think so. I'm glad I don't have a twin. Three older sisters is enough to drive me crazy!"

Bill and I burst out laughing. The little snot was teasing me! "Watch it mister," I ran after him. "I'm gonna get you for that!"

When I got him he let out a little squeak. I picked him up and threw him onto the couch, where I sat on him. "Let me up Sammy!" He pounded on my shoulder. "Get off of me!"

"Say sorry!" He shook his head so I started to tickle him. "Do you surrender yet?"

Still he shook his head. Finally he couldn't take it any more. "I surrender Sammy, I surrender!"

I got off of him and laughed. "Where did you learn to say that?"

"Daddy wrestles with me. I usually win and that's what he says!" The lights that shone in his eyes was to cute.

"Did you just tell them that you beat me?" Dad's booming voice broke through our laughter.

His smiling eyes met mine and I saw that he and mom were holding hands. "Dad!" I flung myself at him to receive on of his hugs.

"How are you princess?" He asked, engulfing me in his arms.

"Great. How are you?" I hugged mom too.

"We're great honey." Mom answered with a huge smile. "What are you doing here?"

"What, we can't come for a visit anymore?" I pretended to be hurt. "Well I'm offended. Are we not good enough for you anymore?"

"Oh be quiet," she swatted my arm. "I just figured something was up, your all of a sudden feeling better."

"Yeah, I guess it is weird. But there actually is a reason for me being so happy too. I'm going on tour with the guys. Amy is coming too!"

"Well that sounds like fun," dad smiled. "You'll take good care of her Bill?"

"Of course sir." Bill nodded. "I couldn't live with myself if I didn't."

"I guess we all know that," Dad's smile returned, though not quite as big.

I blushed slightly. That last year had been horrible and torture for all of us. Bill couldn't stand to see me hurt anymore. The scars that laced my arms was enough to throw him over the edge. Some days I wonder how he can stand to even look at me. Just then Bill's cool fingers entwined with mine.

"You coming love?" His soft voice broke through my thoughts.

I smiled up at him. "Of course." We went and had coffee with my parents.

When supper rolled around the boys that the twins where dating still hadn't left. "Supper!" Mom called.

They all walked slowly to the dining room. Seeing my little sisters hand in hand with boys almost stopped my heart. Knowing how mom must've felt was intense. I had been so much trouble to her as a kid. "Hey Sam, this is Dave." Annie smiled as she introduced me to her boyfriend.

"Hello," his voice was almost as deep as Gustav's. It surprised me because he could be no older than sixteen.

"And this is Kyle," Ariel said. Kyle nodded in acknowledgment. A quiet one. Surprising, considering how outgoing Ariel is.

We all sat down and had my first family supper in years. It was nice, having everyone together for once. Not having to choose between mom and dad was awesome. I just hope they can figure out their differences and maybe get back together.

**XXX**

Steam rose from the porcelain. Heavenly smells surrounded us. Soft voices rang out like a song. "So you're all leaving me behind?" Lacy asked.

"Yeah, sorry about that." Amy patted her hand. "We won't be gone long though."

"Sure," she grinned. "But I'll still be by myself."

"We'll send you a postcard," I teased. "Maybe I'll even bring you back a souvenir."

"Right. You do that," she scoffed.

"Fine then, you can go with nothing!" I exclaimed. She chucked a pillow at my head and I ducked. It barely missed me by an inch. "Watch it!"

She stuck her tongue out at me. "You better get me something."

"We will," Amy threw the pillow back, "as long as you don't throw any more pillows."

"Agreed." She grinned. "You guys have fun, okay?"

We nodded and hugged her. Leaving behind your best friend was never easy. At least she'll have Andi. "Don't get married without us here," I murmured.

"I would never think of it. And same goes to you two." We shared a group hug. With one day left, we were trying to make the best of things. No matter what, my best friends are forever with me at heart.

**Author's Notes:**

**Hey guys... my wrist is feeling pretty good again... and i want to post more before my parents tell me i can't rite now! Lolz... thnx 4 reviews ppl!!! *gives Gustav dancing on table* ;-]**

**don't think i don't think about it... i would go travel after the guys if i had the money and resources! I don't know or own them!**

**Im finally caught up in sleep and preparing for my b-day bash! (April 9!) U only turn 15 once, right? =P**

**R&R ppl!!! thnx again!**

**~BECKY~**


	4. Everything Is Alright

**Everything is Alright**

**~TOMI SWICK~**

"Hello everyone!" David burst through the door, entirely too happy for our six am departure.

With my head on Bill's lap, I tried to suffocate myself with a pillow. Sleep was pretty much forgotten last night, seeing as it was our last night at home. "Star," Bill's long fingers pried the pillow from my face. "No need to kill yourself."

"Yeah, how many fans that would devastate!" I mocked horror. It would be a field day for them!

"Don't be like that," Bill cooed, rubbing soothing circles on my back. "I love you so you can't leave me. I won't let you."

Seeing his grin, a grin of my own lit up my face. "And how are you going to stop me exactly?" I raised my eyebrows like he does.

He chuckled, "I'll figure out how to in due time."

"I'm sure you will Billa," I murmured, trying to stay awake.

"Dammit Star, just get up already!" Tom shouted, jumping over the couch and landing on my legs.

"Tomi, my legs!" I squealed. He smirked, looking at Bill. "Seriously Tom, my legs are really starting to hurt!"

"Sorry," finally he got off, "you needed a wake-up call."

"Piss off," I stuck my tongue out at him.

"You piss off." He countered like the usual Tom.

Rolling my eyes I spoke yet again, "You wish I would."

"Maaaayybeee," He winked at me and Bill burst out laughing.

"Tom, did you eat Frosted Flakes again?" my boyfriend asked his twin.

"Um, no?" the dreaded boy said hesitantly.

"I knew it!" Bill exclaimed. "It explains soooo much!"

"Ok everyone, get your bags and let's start loading them onto the bus." David clapped his hands together to wake everyone up. He's obviously had his fix of coffee. I _need _coffee.

As the guys loaded the bags, us girls looked around. The whole point of getting away this early was to avoid most of the publicity. The guys seem used to it, but I'm so not. Even Bill, who is like the biggest Sleeping Beauty ever, was hyperactive. Probably the adrenaline from the tour coming back.

I shook my head as Bill started jumping around, singing at the top of his lungs. Tom and the G's joined in and our neighbor's lights came on. Just then, Gustav fell over and landed with a thud. Slowly he looked around at all of us, "Did anyone see that HUGE clump of air?"

"Are you sure it wasn't you being a klutz again?" Georg asked as he helped up the blond.

"I am _not_ a klutz. Me and the floor just have a really tight relationship," Gustav shrugged.

"Ok, ok. Enough dancing around you bunch of girls. Let's load before your lovely neighbors call the cops!" David laughed, shooing us all into the huge bus.

Once we were on board I looked around. Their busses get bigger every tour, I swear! The novelty never wears off either. Apparently this bus was completely new to the guys. All of them fanned out, exploring their new home and leaving Amy and I together in the kitchenette.

"This is going to be amazing!" Amy gasped out. "I'm so excited!"

"Me too," I grabbed her hand, "let's go exploring!"

**XXX**

"So have you and Tom picked a place yet?" I asked Amy softly while the boys slept off the last concert and after party.

A sly smile captured her features. "Actually, we were thinking about having it in the concert hall in Magdeburg." Shock must have registered on my face, "Yes, we want that many people."

"You guys are crazy! You'll never get through everything." I shook my head in amazement.

"That," she smirked, "shows how little you know about mine and Tom's partying skills."

"Oh my god," I shook my head. "I'd go insane!"

"You _are_ insane," Amy chuckled.

I stuck my tongue out at her. "Can you blame me?"

"Of course not," She laughed and I joined in. "You want a drink?"

Shaking my head I answered, "Not now thanks. I don't want to be drinking a lot this trip."

"Aww come on, why not?" Her eyes imitated Bill's, just not near as sexy.

"Cause I actually want to remember the nights and where we are." I smirked, having shut her up. I guess she didn't really think of it that way. Besides, I was feeling somewhat sick again.

"Are you Ok Star?" Amy asked as I looked out the window at the passing scenery. "You look a little sick."

"I'm just not feeling my best," I murmured, the happy mood was failing fast. My stomach wouldn't stop churning. I closed my eyes, the momentum of the bus making me dizzy.

"Are you sure you're fine?" Worry filled her voice. When I didn't answer she spoke again, "I'm going to get Bill."

I heard her feet walking away. My stomach flopped and I ran for the tiny bathroom aboard the bus. Pulling my hair back I leaned over the toilet and emptied my stomach. I kept gagging, unable to stop. Soon a set of cool hands replaced my own and another rubbed circles on my back. "Baby, what's wrong?" Bill's soothing voice hit my ears.

I wiped my mouth and leaned against his hard chest. Tears started flowing down my cheeks and I couldn't stop them. "I don't know."

"Shh, you'll be Ok." Soft kisses were planted on my temple as his hands kept rubbing my back. "Just relax."

Eventually my sobs subsided and my stomach stopped rolling. I looked up and saw Amy's worried eyes along with Bill's. "Thank you," I murmured. Amy handed me a glass of water, which I quickly drank down.

"What happened?" Amy asked me softly. "Is it, you know?"

I shook my head slowly, trying to avoid another dizzy spell. "I just felt sick and dizzy. I just couldn't shake the feeling."

"We're going to a doctor the next city we're at." Bill's stern voice spoke right in my ear.

"No, I'll be fine." I protested weakly. "Seriously Billa, I'll be fine."

"Bull shit. I'm taking you and that's final." His thin arms surprised me by picking me up. Nestled in his chest he carried me to his bunk. As he lay down and wrapped me in his arms, I listened to his heartbeat until finally sleep claimed me.

**XXX**

"Ms. Skealburg, Mr. Kaulitz?" The doctor's deep voice called into the crowded waiting room. We followed the tall man to a room in a busy hallway. "So you're here Samantha because of pains and constant vomiting?"

I nodded my head and Bill threw in, "Some days she can't walk or anything. Last night she scared me and our friend Amy extremely bad."

"Mr. Kaulitz, may I ask you to leave the room for a few minutes?" The man asked kindly.

"Please," I gently touched the doctor's arm, "can he please stay?"

He looked between the two of us then nodded, "of course. Samantha, when was the last time you had your menstrual period?"

I blushed slightly, not remembering. "I don't know," I mumbled stupidly, "a couple months ago?"

"And you've been having sexual intercourse regularly?" He looked at me over his glasses.

"Yes," I mentally smacked myself in the forehead.

"Have you been using protection?"

"Not the last couple times I don't think. But I'm on the pill." I blurted out.

"The pill doesn't always work," the doctor's voice was hesitant. "It's been proven to have 'loops' where a woman will become pregnant, even if she's been on the pill for a long time."

"No, no, no," my head fell into my hands. "I'm sorry Bill, I didn't know! God, what am I going to do?"

"Love, don't worry. This doesn't change anything, it makes it better! I love you." Bill's voice broke through my hysterics.

Then the doctor spoke again, "Would you be willing to have a pregnancy test done now?"

I nodded, "Please."

We waited nervously in the waiting room. It seemed like hours had gone by in the matter of minutes. Time had no end, no limit. People came and went quickly, a slower day in the outpatients. Finally, after what seemed like days, the doctor's deep voice called us once again.

As soon as we were enclosed in the room a smile claimed the older man's features. "Congratulations Bill and Samantha, you're going to be parents!"

"Oh my god," I murmured, shocked. "I'm going to be a mom!"

Bill's face was lit like a thousand watt lightbulb. A soft laugh escaped his mouth right before he burst out in full out laughter. "I'm going to be a daddy!" He jumped up and started clapping his hands. "I'm going to be a dad!"

The doctor laughed too. "I'll let you talk amongst yourself." With that he left.

"Billa, can we get married sooner then?" I asked quietly. "I want to be married before I start to show."

"When do they say women usually start to show?" Bill's voice had calmed somewhat.

"Three months," I grinned at his shocked expression.

"And you're how far along exactly?"

"A couple weeks."

"Awesome, we can finish up the tour quickly and then we're getting married. I love you!" Bill's excitement grew again.

"I love you too, now can we get out of here?" I asked. "I'm tired of the hospital."

"Of course love, for you, anything!" Together we walked out hand in hand. Parents to be.

**Author's Notes:**

**oooOOOooo she's preggy!!!!! =P but sum of u guessed that already!!! Hope u like where this is going ppl!!! *hands out TH cookies* thnx 4 reviews!**

**My friend Steph got me Bill and Gustav for my b-day... my pillow and blanket she gave them their names!!! xP i don't know or own the boys but she wuz gonna get me the bed stuff... 2 expensive. **

**i finally got the Tokio Hotel TV Caught On Camera DVD!!!!!! *dances like Bill* I also got Breaking Dawn!!! im sooooooo excited!!! Shit hit the fan when my friends stayed over and im just bummed Lisa couldn't make it!!! *hugglz girl!***

**Im still sleep deprived frum my b-day so im gonna peace out now!!! Keep reviews coming plz ppl!!!u r all amazing!**

**~BECKY~**


	5. Candle Sick and Tired

**Candle (Sick and Tired)**

**~THE WHITE TIE AFFAIR~**

"Hey Star, you awake?" Tom's deep voice called through the dark haze I was in.

Groggily I sat up. "What's wrong?" I mumbled.

"Nothing, sorry for waking you," Tom's soft whisper rang through the darkness. "I just heard the news. God, I'm going to be an uncle!"

All of a sudden he was right there, a smile ruling out all his other features. "As long as you don't spoil the baby too much." I teased him.

"Aww come on," he groaned, "what's the fun of that then?"

"I'm not to sure," I giggled. "But we can't have a spoiled little brat all of our lives. Bill and I are the ones who have to live with the kid."

"True," Tom nodded.

"But don't think even for a second that you'll be getting out of babysitting," poking him in the ribs I laughed. "Bill won't be able to handle the kid all the times I'm busy."

"Fine," he rolled his chocolate eyes. "I guess I can deal with that."

"Good boy," I patted his head goofily. All of a sudden I clutched my stomach. "Tom, will you please go get some of those pills the doctor sent for my sickness."

Worry captured his face as he sat straight up, "of course!" With that he disappeared. After a few long minutes he was standing before me with a glass of water and the medication. "Here you are."

"Thanks Tomi," I made a face. Medicine is so overrated. Quickly, I swallowed the pills and lay back in the pillows. "Doesn't your show start soon?"

The dreads bobbed as Tom nodded. "Bill asked me to come check on you while he got ready. I assume he'll be here shortly to check on you himself." My best friend lay down beside me. It was like old times.

I let myself listen to the steady beating of his heart. "Tomi?" I moaned as my stomach rolled yet again.

"Yes Star?" He murmured, rubbing soothing circles on my stomach.

"I'm getting really tired of being sick and tired." I whispered. "But you can't tell Bill because I don't want him worrying."

"I promise I won't say anything." he vowed, crossing over his heart with his hands.

"Pinky promise?" I looked at him from under my thick lashes.

"Pinky promise," we hooked little fingers with smiles.

Just then Bill walked in, "What's going on here?" His smile was radiating.

"Tom got me a drink to quench the thirst. Can't I come watch you guys?" I begged my fiancé.

He deliberated it thoughtfully. "How about not tonight but our next show?" I raised my eyebrows. He strode over to me and lay on my other side, "I love you to much to allow you too strain yourself so much."

"Aww Billa," I crooned, cradling his face in my hands. "You're too sweet."

"I know," He kissed me lightly.

"God you two can never keep your hands off of each other!" Tom closed his eyes. "It's revolting!"

"Aww is ickle Tomi jealous?" I cooed.

"Maybe," he smirked. "That is why I'm gonna leave you two alone for a little while."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, be that way. Thanks again though."

"No problem bestie." He mock saluted me.

"So are you going to tell me what that was all about?" Bill questioned, gazing at me intently.

"Nope," I shook my head quickly, making me dizzy.

"Whoa, no need to hurt yourself over it," he laughed, catching me from falling face first into the mattress.

I groaned, "Man, you're no fun!"

He grabbed me and literally picked me up, only to throw me back down. Then he started tickling me. I gasped for breath as the long white fingers attacked me mercilessly. When he finished he propped me against the pillows before resting his head on my stomach. "How was that for fun?"

"You. Are. In. For. It." I gasped out. "The little one agrees."

All of a sudden worry captured his features. "Did I hurt you? God, I'm sorry!" He kissed my stomach. "You should have told me!"

"Calm down Bill," I smoothed back some of his dark hair. "I'm fine, little one's fine, everything's great."

"Thank god, I was so scared!" He leaned onto me again. "This alright for you?"

"Perfect. Just don't wreck your hair or your fans will be disappointed." I teased him.

He replied by sticking out his tongue. We sat like that for a few minutes before he reluctantly stood. "I have to go now," bending over he kissed me. "Love you."

"Love you too. Good luck sweetheart." He gave me a thumbs up before walking away. I sighed, alone all night.

I turned on my Ipod and nestled into the fluffy pillows. May as well make the best of it. As I was watching some videos Gustav had put on my Ipod, I felt the bed shift. I looked up with startled eyes. "Relax hun, it's just me." Amy's soothing voice rang over the silence. "Did I startle you?"

"Hang on," I grabbed my chest, "I'll tell you once I figure out a way to restart my heart."

"Sorry," she squeaked.

"Tis ok," I grinned goofily at her. "Why aren't you at the concert?"

"Figured you could use some company," she shrugged. "How are you feeling?"

"The medication the doctor gave me works wonders," I smiled. "You up to watching some videos?"

"I brought some DVDs I just bought, how about we watch those?" She suggested. "I can bring Tom's laptop in here."

"Sure," I leaned back into the pillows, willing to relax with my new friend.

**XXX**

**(Bill's POV)**

"I can never get over how you get the crowd to follow your lead like that Gustav," I shook my head. "They're like your little clones or something."

The blond laughed, "Are you jealous Bill?"

"Nope," I grinned. He raised an eyebrow. "Well ok, maybe a little."

He laughed again. "Exactly what I thought!"

I punched his shoulder, "Shut up!"

Just then Tom's head poked out of the bus, "Can you two shut up? The girls are fast asleep."

Instantly I shut my mouth yet Gustav's body still shook in silent laughter. "Well look who's whipped." Georg teased.

"God you guys are annoying, you know that?" I rolled my eyes, walking into my bunk area. There I found Amy and Star fast asleep with the Titanic playing on Tom's laptop.

I gave Amy a quick glance before my eyes found Star's peaceful face. Her chest rose and fell softly as she breathed. I gazed at her, wondering what she was thinking. Wondering if she was in any pain. Wondering if maybe, just maybe, out little one was growing yet again.

"Tom?" Amy's voice whispered.

"Naw, it's Bill." I smiled into the darkness. "You go ahead and sleep for a little longer. We're just on our way to the hotel now." I saw a slight shift and figured it was her nod. Soon she too was fast asleep.

"Out like a light," Tom's voice startled me and I jumped.

"What the fuck?" I hissed, the hair on the back of my neck stood on end.

"Sorry Bill," Tom's smile was sheepish. "Didn't mean to scare you."

"It's Ok Tom." I shook my head. "I'll be fine," sighing, "eventually."

"Why don't you come into the kitchenette? We were thinking we could maybe write a song or something," Tom whispered.

"Ok. I have a few ideas." I smiled at him, happy to be writing yet again.

**XXX**

**(Back to Star's POV)**

Slowly I walked up to the hotel room Bill and I were sharing. Happy that my last smoke was gone, I felt almost complete. Everything seemed sharper and brighter. People buzzed around me in the lobby until finally I got on the stairs and trudged up them slowly. Time was on my side right now, the guys were still at an interview last I heard.

As I reached out room, I was hardly out of breath. I guess what they say is true, slow and steady wins the race. I opened the door softly and a warm glow welcomed me. "Oh Bill," I murmured, my hand to my face. Hundreds of candles surrounded the suite.

I walked in awe, following the trail to the bedroom. On the bed sat a pair or lingerie. I giggled softly. Typical Bill, black and purple lace. I shook my head, walking to the bathroom still giggling. As I shut the door I started to take off my clothes and get into the slinky replacements. The things I do for Bill. Though I'd never admit it, I actually _liked_ the lacy stuff. Speaking of Lacy, I have to call her.

I shook my head._ Focus on what's to come._ Well that thought didn't help either. Finally I figured everything out and walked out of the smaller bathroom. I found Bill lying on the bed in a pair of silk boxers that match my own little outfit. I giggled, "Hey sexy, have you happened to see my fiance?"

He looked around like he was surprised, "You're talking to me? Well I'm sorry beautiful, I haven't seen him around anywhere."

"Oh well," I sighed, "I guess I'm stuck with you." With that I flung myself at him. He caught me easily and my hungry lips found his. He had all the lace of me in record time compared to how long it took me to put it on.

"You're beautiful." He murmured over every inch of my skin. "I love you so much."

I mumbled back in one breath, "Idon'tknowhowIeverlived," I gasped as he nipped at my neck. "Without you."

"Ditto," he whispered. "Now shut up and kiss me,"

**Author's Notes:**

**hey guys!!! i is back!! Lolz... how u like it?!?! The song Candle is one I highly recommend u listen to!!! Its uber good! =] *cookies frum my 7 dozen I baked* (don't worry, I didn't poison em!) =P thnx soooooooo much 4 reviews!**

**Sleep has been my best friend l8ly and I'm actually willing to go in Bill's words, 'spend an intimate 24 hours w/ my bed'. Hahaha.... I don't know or own the guys!**

**Have u ever noticed that when ur sleep deprived, everything is so much funnier? If u have leave me ur story in a review... i may just put mine in the next chappies notes!!!**

**Keep reviews coming dudes!!! Luv u all!!!**

**~BECKY~**


	6. Tonight, I Love You

**Tonight, I Love You**

**~THE LATENCY~**

"We have so much to plan!" Lacy's excited voice crackled slightly over our phone call.

I rolled my eyes. Trust her to forget the fact I'm pregnant and jump right to the fact of my earlier wedding. "Yeah, I'm not really looking forward to it," I sighed.

"What? Are you crazy?" She screamed into the phone. I held it away from my ear with a grimace. "You're mom will be ecstatic. Have you told her yet?"

I groaned, "No, and you better not either!"

"I promise," I could hear the smile in her voice and knew what was to come. "As long as you tell her by tomorrow night."

"Great," I groaned, "just one more thing to worry about."

"Sorry hun, but maybe she'll help you out." I could just see my friend shrugging. "Whoops, I have to go. Andi just got home."

I laughed, "Sure thing. Thanks for giving me a conscience."

"You're welcome!" With that she hung up.

Sighing, I fell back onto the hotel bed. So many different thoughts ran through my overly active mind. Would Bill and I be able to pull off a wedding in less than three months? Would the baby stay healthy with all this traveling? What will my mom say? Way to many problems. My stomach churned at the thoughts.

Just then a cool pair of hands started rubbing my shoulders gently. "Just relax Love, everything is going to go perfectly." Bill's soothing voice filled my ears. I leaned back into him and he wrapped his arms around me protectively. Softly, he started to hum the song he had written me. The soft vibrations against my skin tickled and made me shiver.

"I didn't hear you come in," I murmured, wrapping my arms around his neck.

He kissed the top of my head, "You looked a little preoccupied."

We sat in silence, embracing each other for a long time. After a little while the thoughts started bugging me again. "Bill?"

"Yes sweetheart?"

With his soft question I blurted everything. "What are we going to tell my mom? How?"

His long hands gently caressed my stomach. "We're going to tell her over the phone that she's going to be a grandma. I'm sure you're whole family will be thrilled. Especially Ben." I felt his smile as he buried his face in my hair. I let myself believe his words as he kissed a trail down my neck.

"When do you think we should tell her?" I asked nervously.

"How about right now?" he murmured.

I took a deep breathe, "Ok. I'm ready." Slowly I picked up my phone. Bill's hands never once left my body, as if he was protecting me from a brutal force. I dialed my home number hesitantly, "What if Dad answers?"

Bill thought about this for a second. "Ask for you Mom. She'd be kinda mad at you if she wasn't the first to know."

I nodded and pressed 'Talk'. "Hello?" Mom's soft voice answered and I sighed.

"Hi Mom. It's me and Bill." I put the phone on speaker phone.

"How are you two?" Surprise was evident in he voice.

"Great mom," a small smile captured my lips and I looked to Bill for reassurance. He nodded once, "Actually, we're better than great."

"Oh really?" Her voice raised a little. "What's going on?"

I whispered into the phone as quietly as I could and her still hear me, "Congratulations Grandma."

A scream echoed through the line. "Oh. My. God!!!!! Are you serious? When?" her frantic voice kept asking all sorts of questions.

Bill spoke because I was trying not to laugh in relief. "Yes, Star's having a baby. We just found out the other day. I wanted to give her some time to adjust herself before we told you. Sorry for making you wait." His voice was soothing and I regained control over myself.

"You're sorry? Jeez, I'm so excited! Hang on, I'm going to tell you dad!" her breathing was ragged as excitement engulfed her completely. "Dwight, our baby girl is pregnant!" Mom squealed.

"I'm so happy that him and his girlfriend called off the wedding. I don't think I'd be able to survive three more siblings." I muttered, loud enough for only Bill's ears.

"Which one?!" I heard my dad call back. "I'm gonna kill the son of a bitch!"

"Sammy," she breathed out.

Instantly I heard the silence. There was some rustling and my dad's voice hit my ears. "Baby, is it true?"

"Yes daddy," tears formed in my eyes. "You're going to be a grandpa."

"Oh dear Lord." I could just see him shaking his head. "Congrats you two."

"Thanks daddy. I love you."

"Love you too princess."

The phone got jostled a little bit more. "Love, I love you too but we have to go. The news almost gave your poor father a heart attack." Both of us laughed. "Call me later?"

"Sure, but one more thing," I threw in.

"What is it?" She sounded almost nervous. "Is it twins?"

I giggled, "no. Do you mind helping with wedding planning?"

"Of course! But I really must go revive you dad. Love you." With that she hung up.

I hung up and my eyes locked with Bill's laughing chocolate eyes. "That was," he murmured, "interesting."

I kissed him sloppily and he held me tighter. We let ourselves relax into the other, using each other for support. There was no denying our love. This was _my_ Billa. I turned slightly in his arms. "I didn't think it was possible." I muttered.

"Didn't think what was possible?" He murmured into my hair.

"That tonight, I love you more than I ever thought possible." Our eyes met and a shock went through both of our bodies. Love made our world spin and time stood still.

**XXX**

**TWO MONTHS LATER**

"Thank you Leipzig!" Bill shouted to the huge audience. I clapped and cheered along with everyone else. The last show of their tour was amazing. So many fans had shown up and allowed them to play to a sold out crowd. Not to mention they were probably the most energetic over the last two months.

The crowd roared as the boys ran off of the stage. Gustav of course was a little later, having had the crowd follow his lead once again. "I want cookies!" The blond exclaimed.

I laughed, holding my own stash behind my back. "You were great guys," I exclaimed.

"I know someone has cookies!" Gustav said yet again.

I rolled my eyes and threw the package. "Catch!"

He caught it in the nick of time. They almost fell to the floor when his hand whipped out of nowhere. He checked the bag anxiously. With a smile he looked at us all, "The cookies are fine!"

I pretended to wipe the sweat off of my brow, "Thank God. What would we have done if they were broken?"

"Eat them?" He offered with a silly grin. Then he shoved one of them into his mouth and moaned, "Amazing."

We were all laughing when Tom walked up, "Come on guys, it's out encore!"

I clapped as they walked back onto stage. "Gustav is too cute." The young girl beside me said in accented German.

"Hi," I smiled at her. "Who are you?"

"I'm one of the fans from Montreal," she blushed a little. "My friend and I won a trip here. My name is Camille."

"Oh awesome! Are you enjoying the concert?"

"More than anything," the girl's big eyes shone with excitement. "You have no idea what I would have done to get here if I didn't win that contest."

I shuddered mentally at the image. The girl could be no older than seventeen. Then again, I was only eighteen when I had gotten both Bill and Braiden. I decided to change the subject somewhat, "so you like Gustav?"

She sighed, "He's only the man of my dreams."

I laughed, "That's how it's always been with Bill for me."

"You're Star, aren't you?" She raised an eyebrow. I wondered briefly if I had given away too much. I nodded dumbly. She smiled, "I'm so happy you and Bill got back together. I couldn't stand that other girl!"

"Me neither," this made us both laugh. All too soon our conversation was cut short by the end of the concert. We both cheered like crazy and Amy and the other girl joined us.

Bill smiled at the two Canadian girls before kissing my temple lightly. Tom and Amy shared much the same greeting. Gustav's eyes were instantly entranced by Camille. "Hello," his deep voice rang out, "I'm Gustav."

"I know," she squeaked out. "Camille."

"Well it's very nice to meet you. Where are you from?"

"Montreal," she gasped out.

"Really? I loved Montreal! We've been there twice now. Cold though." He shook his head with a smile.

"You get used to it," she shrugged.

I watched with a smile as they talked all throughout the hanging out with us. The other girl and Georg talked, but neither really looked interested. Let's just say Geo is into more exotic girls. Bill squeezed my hand as we all talked. Gus and Camille were still in their own little world. I could have sworn I saw them exchange numbers near the end.

Just as the two were leaving I grabbed the dark-haired girl's arm. "Camille, it was great meeting you."

The look in her eyes proved my assumption correct. "Great meeting you too! Maybe see you around?" She looked over my shoulder at the guys with a blush.

I winked at her, "I'm sure of it!"

**Author's Notes:**

**Hey guys! I wanted to get one more chappy up b4 skool starts again... =] The Latency is actually an pretty good band! Only heard this song by em tho! *choco-chip cookie!* thnx 4 reviews guys!!! u all rox my world and u no it!**

**Umm... i just looked back to like... the first book of this trilogy. In chapter 17 there was some information about Dwight Skealburg that I had forgotten about. Hopefully it cleared up a few things... at least in my mind it did... u may just not give a damn! Lolz... **

**Kk... my sleep deprivation story: **

**over this easter break I've had a bunch of my friends over as a result of my b-day... the first night my BFF Breann was over and well... we stayed up till 4:30 watching **_**Jackass 2**_**. Ever heard of it? The most hilarious and disgusting movie ever! Anyway... we were literally crazy by the time we went to sleep.**

**The next nite the rest of my friends were over and we were partying it up in the basement (my room). We watched horror movies that didn't mix well with the sugar we'd eaten and there was a lot of tears and screaming.**

**That night my other 2 BFFs stayed over (Shrek and Diego!) We watched the TH DVD!!! It wuz amazing and we literally freaked out seeing the guys' butt/bod/muscles! Then we ate more sugar! ;-]**

**the other day I went to Shrek's place and it got soooo late that we were watching horror movies and the TH DVD again! We had a brilliant idea to write the boys a fan letter... u would be proud of us if ur goal was to make them think ur crazy!!! hahaha... but u all know that anyway... xP**

**yeah... the stories rn't as funny now as they were then! I don't know or own the boys... but i vow to send that letter w/ sum of the horribly funny pics we took!**

**R&R plz!!!! luv u all!**

**~BECKY~**


	7. Time Of My Life

**The Time Of My Life**

**(DAVID COOK)**

"No, no, no! This is all wrong!" I exclaimed, jamming my head into my hands. My loose hair fell everywhere.

"Shh," Lace swiped the hair to the back of my neck. "No need for the dramatics."

I laughed harshly. "The fact that my own dress won't fit isn't in need for dramatics? What am I supposed to wear to my wedding?!"

"Honey, we can get it re-fit. The wedding is still four days away," I let my best friend's soothing voice wash over me. As the truth sunk in I could breathe a little easier. "There we go, just relax."

"Thank you," I murmured. "Now will you please help me out of this thing?"

"Of course!" Soon both Lacy and Amy's hands were helping me out of the clingy fabric.

I asked once again, "so you're sure they'll be able to fit it properly?"

"Yes!" Amy laughed. "Now listen to us already and relax!"

I took a deep breath and grinned. "I'm just so nervous. I mean, you only get married once, right?" They both looked at each other and I rolled my eyes. "Theoretically girls."

"Oh! Right!" Lace grinned back. "My turn!"

We waited patiently as she stubbornly tried to get in the dress herself. Amy looked at me, "You think we should help her yet?"

"Hang on a second, make her ask." I winked and she nodded knowingly.

Finally after another ten minutes a quiet call came out from behind the curtain. "Umm, guys? Could you come help me please?"

With quiet laughter we went in, "About time you asked." I teased, "You're as stubborn as a mule!"

"Can it Missy, or you're out of the wedding." She stuck her tongue out at me.

"Fine then, you're out of _my _wedding!" I put my hands on my hips.

Her cool hands grabbed my elbow and I turned around to be met with her pouty eyes. "Please forgive me? You can be in my wedding!"

I sighed, "Fine."

Amy shook her head. "Better watch it or none of you will be in mine. You can count on that!"

"Awe come on!" We all laughed as Lacy spun around.

"How does it look?"

"Beautiful," I murmured. The white satin clung to all the right curves. The slightly beaded trail swayed behind her. "It's the absolute perfect dress."

"So you think I should get it?" Slowly she twirled again, though this time she watched herself in the full length mirror.

"Why the hell wouldn't you?" I practically shouted. "It's the best one you've tried on so far!"

"Even better than the one yesterday?" Amy question with a raised eyebrow. I had loved that one on my best friend too.

"Yes!"

Lace gave herself one last look and grinned, "Ok. This is the one!"

I jumped up and hugged her. "It looks so beautiful. Andi will have a heart attack when he sees you in it."

She beamed at the thought as we helped her out of the fabric. Dress shopping _was_ getting tiring and now we were all finished except for modifications. But hey, who can complain, right? We've got all the money we'd ever need to spend on them!

**XXX**

"So let me get this straight," Bill murmured as he ran his fingers through my hair. I leaned into his touch, "it's your bachelorette party tonight and you're going to a stip club?"

I laughed, "Yes Billa, but don't worry, my heart belongs to you. Don't forget you're going out tonight too."

"I know, I know," he kissed my temple.

"And you won't get so drunk you won't remember me when you get home?" I questioned.

"Of course I won't!" Bill exclaimed, "I'll get so drunk I won't remember you for the next three days!"

I smacked his arm, "Smart-ass."

He winked, "you know I wouldn't do that. I love you and have fun."

"You too sweetheart," I stood and kissed him, "see you in the morning."

As I finished getting ready I heard the door snap shut as Bill left for his bachelor party. I shook my head, he will be _so_ hungover in the morning! I giggled to myself at the thought. Hell, I probably would be too! The two of us would get nothing done and then we'd be separated the night before the wedding. This should be great.

I kept wondering how I'd live without my Billa beside me for one night. Then I had to mentally smack myself because Bill would be touring too. If I couldn't live without him for one single night, would it be better if I didn't live with him at all? Do I even deserve someone like Bill? I mean, I had Braiden, and he seemed to be the one I truly deserved.

"Shut up!" Lacy smacked me across the face.

"What?!" I exclaimed, rubbing my now tender cheek. "What the fuck?"

"I can't believe that's how you feel! Why didn't you tell me sooner?" anger was clearly evident in her voice.

"What do you mean?" I was extremely confused.

"You don't realize it, do you?" a soft smile replaced the anger as I shook my head. "Hun, you were thinking out loud."

"I was?" I blushed, nobody was supposed to hear those thoughts.

"Yea. And you _DO_ deserve Bill. Braiden is a dick and you deserve the best in your life and he'd die without you. How many times do we have to tell you about his pain while you guys were broken up?" She rubbed my back soothingly. "So stop thinking like that."

My whole body shook as I tried my hardest not to cry. "I'll try not too."

"Ok. Now let's go party!"

**XXX**

**(Bill's POV)**

"What?" Tom shouted over the blaring music.

"Why did you bring me here?" I screamed. Bad timing, the music had a slight break and my voice carried. An awkward silence fell over our little area of people.

Tom grinned, pretending nothing happened. "Because this is only the warmup."

"Really?" I raised my eyebrows. "What's next?"

"Well we planned to have Geo jumping out of a cake and giving you a lap dance, but he refused," Gustav threw in teasingly.

I groaned, "you're not going to tell me, are you?"

"Nope." They both grinned just as Jost, Georg, and Andreas walked up.

"Fine then," I turned around and watched as the Nena wannabe performed. It sounded screechy, yet for some odd reason I actually _liked_ the group. Soon I found myself humming along. Must be a song that Star's listened to or something.

_Star_. I smiled to myself and wondered what they were doing. My girl forever. Nobody could ever keep her from me, not even that douche Braiden. I still felt bad that he had died, but Star lived, and that's all that matters. Not to mention he did help us get Cassandra arrested, even from the grave. I guess she did know how to choose the right guys.

Maybe she would have been better off with him. He made her happy. I knew from all the times I'd seen her at that damn club. Yet he harmed her and I could never forgive him. Pulling her in, he tried to play Cassandra's game until he realized he'd never win. But maybe I'm like that too? God, I'm so confused.

"Bill," Tom shook me harshly, "snap out of it!"

"What?" I asked, confused.

"You're supposed to be enjoying yourself, what's wrong?"

Dammit, stupid twin connection. "Nothing. Sorry." I smiled at him.

He didn't look convinced but looked around before turning back to me. "You're the only one she's ever truly loved this much."

I blushed and thanked the arena for being dark. Sometimes Tom knowing how I'm feeling gets annoying, yet I know it's the same way for him. "Thanks Tomi."

**XXX**

"Oh, My, Gosh!" I laughed as yet another male stripper came up to us. I bit my lips from laughing out loud.

"We need another lap dance over here!" Amy exclaimed, slopping yet another drink as she pointed at me.

As the hot guy grinned and danced, I let the happy feeling of the alcohol take over me. What harm could a little dance do, right? "This is so much fun!" I gave the girls a thumbs up.

They giggled and checked out the half naked guy on me. "Damn fine!" I heard over all the music and laughter with all the other women around us.

Just then something flickered in the guy's eyes. Something like regret. Instantly I stopped laughing and grabbed his hand, "Come with me."

He followed reluctantly, "you know, I'm not supposed to do anything with the customers." He murmured as I locked one of the doors behind us.

"Dumb-ass, that's not why I brought you here. I _know_ you."

"What? How?" He looked almost scared. "Don't tell anyone, I can't lose another job!"

"I know, and you look like you've cleaned up." This tall, muscular man before me was Braiden's brother.

"I have," he murmured, "and I could really use this job."

"You don't like it, do you?" I asked softly. He shook his lowered head. "Then why do you do it?"

"Because I need to make money for my family. You can never understand how I destroyed them so completely." He looked up at me and a single tear slid down his cheek.

"But I do," I hugged him. "I've been down that road with your brother, if you don't remember." He flinched as I spoke. "Trust me, you'll be fine."

"How do you know?" His eyes held torture. "My family needs me."

"Because I know that you're smart and I can maybe hook you up with a technical job."

His eyes lit up, "And I'd be able to stay close to home. I have a two year old boy and a six month old girl."

"Yeah Kyle, you would be able to." I smiled back at him, happy I wasn't completely drunk.

"Thank you so much," he whispered.

"You're welcome." We hugged once again before walking back to the group.

"Where were you?" Lacy asked harshly. "Bill will be furious."

"Nothing happened," I whispered, looking at her directly in the eyes. "That's Braiden's brother Kyle. I'm going to try and help him."

"Help him with what?" She sounded appalled.

"Help him get out of here. He hates it. I _have _to help him. It would be my way of repaying Braiden for helping us with Cassandra." I pleaded her desperately with my eyes.

She shrugged, "I believe you. Don't scare my like that again!"

"I won't, I promise," I grinned as yet another round of shots arrived. "Now let's party! This is my last night as a free woman!" All of us women giggled and shot the alcohol down our throats. The burn wasn't even noticeable anymore.

**Author's Notes:**

**hey guys!!! im back! Ball season has officially started and im uber excited!!! Our first game is May 12... there probably won't be an update in this next week unless i get really inspired... Tuesday is my bro's b-day and ball practice, wed is piano, Thursday is ball practice, Friday is our last dance of the year, and Saturday/Sunday is the concert im going to w/ sum friends!!! **

**Thnx 4 the reviews!!! *HUGGLZ* keep em coming ppl if u want a faster update! (The miracle update =P)**

**hope ur liking the story... =] **

**~BECKY~**


	8. Tongue Tied

**Tongue Tied**

**~FABER DRIVE~**

Rays of sunshine shone through the little slit in the curtains. Dust particles danced to their own personal music. A rainbow of colors sprayed out from the diamond that sat on my left finger. As my hand moved, the light shone directly onto my closed eyes. I flinched and allowed my eyelids to flutter open.

Looking over I saw Bill sleeping peacefully. As his chest rose and fell, I tried to match my own breathing to his. Suddenly I became aware of my thirst. Why was I so thirsty? Last night came to mind and I smiled softly. Today would be my last day without a husband. As of eleven am tomorrow, I would be Mrs. Bill Kaulitz.

Finally I decided sleep refused to come back to me so I tried to get up for that drink. Just then the skinny pair of arms that held me loosely tightened. I tried to fall back lightly so I wouldn't wake him but ended up landing quite un-gracefully. I blushed even though nobody saw me.

"Morning love," Bill's warm breath tickled my neck.

"Good morning Bill. Sorry to wake you." I murmured, half wondering if he was still asleep.

"You didn't wake me, I was just waiting for you to get up." I turned slightly and his lips met mine. A glint of something unknown shone in his eyes. Then he asked, "How about we do the dirty one more time before we are legally married?"

"Do the dirty?" I giggled, "Seriously Billa?"

"As serious as this," he thrust his erection into my palm and I gasped. He was stone hard.

"Well, maybe it could be arranged," I let my thumb run across the moist head and he groaned. I teased him for a while before getting up. "I have to go shower."

I started walking away, not looking over my shoulder. A frustrated sigh came from behind me and I smirked. All of a sudden I was flying through the air and landed on our bed with a soft thud. "Did you think I'd let you get away that easily?" Bill whispered, his fingers pushed back some stray hairs from my flushed face.

"I hoped you wouldn't," I grinned before crashing our mouths together. The pure bliss erased any pain when he bit my lip. Our tongues each fought the other for control. Bill finally gained ground and his tongue ring clanked against the roof of my mouth, making me moan.

Wantonly, we ripped off each other's clothes. Bill pulled away from my lips and I groaned in protest. Slowly he left a trail of kisses all the way down to between my legs. He teased me with his fingers and I moaned his name over and over again. He was so cruel. As he came back up to capture my lips once more I noticed he was still wearing his boxers. That had to be changed.

I let my fingers dance over his porcelain skin, tracing his many tatoos with my tongue following after. His eyes rolled as I briefly took him into my mouth. Gently I nipped at the side of his length and grinned triumphantly when he moaned my name. All of a sudden his smooth hands pulled me on top of him and I felt him gently pressing against my entrance.

I gasped, we hadn't tried this out yet. Biting my bottom lip I looked him in the eyes, "I love you so much my Billa. God, I love you so much it hurts."

"Fuck me," the look in his eyes were serious. "Fuck me until we both scream. Fuck me until you can't any more."

I smirked, "You really shouldn't have said that." I thrust down and gasped as he filled me completely.

**XXX**

I walked around the house stiffly, finally making us something to eat. Bill came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. He smelt like vanilla. "You sure you're ok baby?"

"I'm fine," I grimaced as he jostled me lightly.

"Maybe that last time wasn't such a good idea," worry filled his voice. "Go lay down."

"Bill, I have to cook this!" I protested.

"I can cook!" he exclaimed. "Besides, I hate seeing you in pain baby. Please, just go rest? We can't harm the baby either."

"Yeah, say that after our little morning adventures." I rolled my eyes.

"Just scorch," he smacked my butt. "Before I have to force you."

"Fine," I pecked his lips, "call if you need some help."

"Will do!" His back was already turned to me as he busied himself with the food.

With a sigh I walked back to our bedroom. Maybe a bath would help. Gosh, I hope it helps, what would I tell the guest's tomorrow? I couldn't tell them I was walking with a limp because I fucked to hard.

I laughed at the thought as I put on a CD and cranked it loud. I then started filling the tub, humming along to _Tongue Tied_. I flinched slightly as I got into the steaming water. Not only was it hot, I could barely move enough to sit down. I looked at my pedicure-d toes in the water. Many thoughts ran through my head when I remembered about my promise to Kyle. I'd have to tell Bill about that soon.

Slowly my head began to droop. My eyelids felt heavy and sleep tried to claim me. I fought hard, I really did but finally I succumbed. Dreams of my family to be took over my mind. I smiled at the little baby boy that I was holding. He looked like his daddy. Why was he crying though? Why were they pulling me away from my baby?

"Samantha!" Someone shouted and I opened my eyes, startled. "Oh my god, Sam." Bill sobbed, his clothes drenched.

I shivered and pulled on a strand of his hair, "Bill?"

He hugged me tightly to his body, kissing every inch of me he could reach. "Don't ever scare me like that again!"

"What?" I asked, entirely confused. "Like what?"

"I thought you had drowned," unshed tears glistened in his honey-suckle eyes.

"Sorry," I gently kissed him, "I just fell asleep."

"Well let's get you too the bed where it's _safe_." He picked me up and I realized there was less stiffness in my legs.

I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck as he tried to set me down in the fuzzy sheets. "Stay with me."

"I will, just let me go get the food." Gently he pulled my fingers away from him. "I'll be right back."

I never saw him return as I fell right back to sleep. My baby boy was smiling again.

**XXX**

**(Bill's POV)**

I watched as Star slept naked. I put my plate on my bedside table. Her own plate sat untouched right beside it. I felt bad, if I hadn't prompted her, she wouldn't be like this. I should have waited until after the wedding. I could be so stupid sometimes.

I let my fingers run lightly over her body like butterflies. Goose bumps appeared all over her body so I gently placed the blanket over her sleeping form. I checked my phone and smiled. This could work. Hastily I wrote a note and placed it on the pillow beside her. Placing a soft kiss on her forehead I got up.

I quickly texted Tom and he was waiting for me in his Escalade. "So what's up?" He asked, brows furrowing together in slight worry.

"Not much, I just want to pick up some stuff before Star gets up." I shrugged, no need to tell him the gory details.

"Ok. Cool. How's she doing anyway? Starting to show yet?" He winked, so he _already_ knew.

I blushed lightly, not that he could tell. "Not really, maybe a little softer with all those junk food cravings." I grinned, remembering the night I jacked Tom's ride to go get her a McDonald's milkshake and curly fries from Arby's.

"She was way to skinny before anyway," Tom shrugged. "This is probably the healthiest thing that has ever happened to her. It forces her to eat."

"Yeah," I laughed, "but that doesn't mean she eats healthy."

"True," he laughed with me. "Here we are."

"Thanks so much Tomi," I smiled at my twin. "Be right back."

I ran to gather everything I planned to give her. I had to make up for hurting her, even though she says I didn't. I was the only one who could have hurt her! I shook my head as the girl behind the till impatiently got my attention.

**Author's Notes:**

**hey guys! Tis shorter than usual... but i like where i ended it! How u liking it? I'd like to know what u think! Kk... i went to a concert last nite and it wuz freaking sweet! We were rite at the front... close enough to be sweat and spit on lolz! It wuz sweet! We got home at 3:20 am and didn't get 2 bed till around 4. xP freaking intense!**

**There wasn't any reviews last i checked therefore no 'miracle update'... this is rite on schedule! Plz leave me ur thoughts/comments! Good and bad r welcome!**

**I don't know or own the guys... i had the chance to meet Fresh IE... but i was 2 shy! =[**

**~BECKY~**


	9. Me Luv

**Me Luv**

**~SEAN KINGSTON~**

"Sorry," I mumbled, placing all the contents in the basket on the counter.

The girl behind the counter smiled as she saw all that I was buying. "Whoever this girl is, she's pretty damn lucky."

"Ya," I smiled back, "but I think I'm luckier just having her."

As she bagged the items she looked at me, her head slightly cocked to the side. "Do you come here often?"

My hands twitched towards the bags, an instant reflex. Saki wasn't here to protect me now and Tom was all the way out in the truck. "Sometimes, I live not to far away."

"Oh, cool. It was nice meeting you Bill." She waved as I walked out of the store. Wait, she knew my name. She was a fan! Yet she was totally calm about it. The gears in my brain started turning and I pretty much ran to Tom's truck.

"Wow, calm down Bill. I don't see a crazy fan behind you." Tom chuckled as I slammed the door. "Hey! Don't do that!"

"Sorry. I just met a girl that would be awesome for Georg!" I gasped out.

"Really? Where? Did you get her number?" Tom's eyes shone.

I smacked the back of his head. "No! She knew who I was and that could've led to a scandal leaking. Can you imagine how that would ruin Star?" Horror clung to my features.

"Calm down Bill, it was just a question." My twin shrugged and looked at his phone. "We should probably get back."

"Thanks again for bringing me out here Tom."

"No problem little brother," he smirked and I stuck my tongue out at him. Typical fight between the two of us if I do say so myself.

**XXX**

**(Back to ****STAR'S**** POV)**

I stretched out and grimaced at the light pain still left in my joints. A soft breathing came from beside me and I smiled to myself. He had kept his promise and returned to me. I rolled over to see if the food was there, as it usually would be. Instead I found a dozen roses, a _HUGE_ box of chocolates, and a jewelry box.

Gingerly, I brought the flowers to my face and took in their precious scent. The silky petals tickled my cheeks and I sighed content-ly. Trust Bill to not listen to me and go all out to apologize for something I _wanted_. Every time he got me a gift, he made me feel like I was worth every penny in the world, even when I know I'm not.

"Yes, You are worth it," Bill's quiet voice startled me.

I turned around with a blush, "Am I that predictable?"

"Only to me love," He brushed back my hair.

"Good, you're the only one I want to be predictable for." I leaned into his narrow body and sighed yet again, still holding the flowers. "But you do realize you didn't need to do this?"

"Yes I did, I've felt so bad since that night," he nuzzled my neck.

"Really? And who says you can repay your dues with stuff?" I raised my eyebrow at him. He looked stumped and I giggled, "just kidding Bill. You spoil me to much."

"You're so worth spoiling though. How could I ever stop?"

"Urm, if you were broke?" I teased.

He scoffed, "Like that will ever happen."

I raised an eyebrow, "You're quite confident."

He hugged me, "I know, but I'm an optimistic. If you're looking for pessimism, go look for Tom."

I laughed, "ok Bill. Optimism it is!"

**XXX**

"Where is the cake going?" Mom shouted over all of the bustle. "Are the caterer's here yet?!"

I ran my hands over my face, "Just relax mom, you're stressing me out!"

"Sorry darling!" She soothed back my hair. Kissing the top of my head she spoke again, "It's not every day that your little girl gets married."

"Well with Bill's money it is a possibility," I teased.

Mom laughed and smoothed the veil that hung from my hair. "I'm still so nervous for the two of you."

"We'll be fine mom, trust me." I smiled at her through the mirror. "Bill wants this even more than me, if that's possible."

"He is a great guy. I'm so happy you two got together. You're perfect for each other." Her soft smile soothed me and my previous stress was forgotten.

Just then Lacy burst into the room, "The cake is here and you're not ready yet! Why aren't you ready yet?"

I groaned, "Thanks for totally wrecking my happy place."

She stuck her tongue out at me, "Just answer the damn question."

"I was trying to get my mom to calm down so I wouldn't freak out completely." I explained.

She nodded her head, "sounds about right. Now let's do this!"

Quickly she ran to get Amy to help me get my dress on. The white silk flowed around me, beads glittered in the sunlight that streamed in through the window. In my ears my mom's old blue-sapphire earrings hung and glittered. Everything was going perfectly... until my shoe wouldn't tighten properly.

"Shit, shit, shit!" I exclaimed, pulling at my hair.

"Don't do that!" Mom scolded, pulling my hands back. "We'll fix this, don't worry. If something hadn't gone wrong it would have been way worse!" I raised my eyebrows. "Just trust me."

"Ok," I took a deep breathe, "I trust you."

The four of us tried to get ready quickly after that. Soon my sisters walked in, completely beautiful and I gasped. Ariel twirled, "how do we look?"

"You look," I paused, trying to find the right words, "beautiful."

"There is no way we compare to you though," Annie looked at me from head to toe. "No fucking way."

"Aww thanks darling," I hugged her. "Now we better hurry or I'm going to be late for my own wedding!"

**XXX**

The music played and my heart beat ten times faster than usual. Linked to my father's arm, I prayed that the butterflies would disappear. I watched as Amy, Lacy, Annie, and Ariel's backs disappeared as they walked down the aisle. Finally my dad looked at me, "You ready princess?"

I nodded my head, "I think so."

Slowly we rounded the corner and were met with hundreds of people. I held in the little gasp that threatened to escape my lips. Standing at the front was Andreas, Gustav, Georg, and Bill's best man, Tom. Then my eyes kept going and I met Bill's lovely chocolate brown eyes. My Billa.

He mouthed 'I love you,' as I walked up. I mouthed it back. Whatever I did to deserve Bill, it must have been a great feat. As I walked the aisle seemed to get longer and I couldn't reach Bill fast enough. His smile was contagious and I longed just to hold his hand. Those long-fingered hands could do wonders.

My father gave me away with a slight tear in the corner of his eyes. I wanted him to stay, but then Bill grabbed my hands and everything else slid away from my mind. He smiled at me and his eyes twinkled before we turned to the priest. Slowly, the ceremony dragged on and it couldn't be fast enough. All I wanted was Bill's lips.

"Samantha," I was pulled out of my thoughts by the priest's voice. I turned to him and he asked, "Do you take Bill to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

Bill squeezed my hand lightly and I blushed, what a horrible time to zone out! I stared at Bill for a long time, trying to wrap my head around the fact that we were about to be married. "Well?" Bill asked quietly, begging me to answer.

**Author's Notes:**

**GAHH!!! im soooooo sorry for the amazingly long wait!!! i didn't mean to I SWEAR!!!!!!! x[ I haven't had a day off in 4ever and when I did, i had a HUGE writer's block.... i still don't really like this chappy till the end. Wut do u think?**

**Urm... i started work now so updates may take a bit longer now... don't kill me plz!!! **

**i don't know or own the guys... trust me... i only wish I did!!!**

**Plz leave a review good or bad cuz i still don't like this chappy! =[**

**~BECKY~**


	10. How Far We've Come

**How Far We've Come**

**~MATCHBOX TWENTY~**

"Well?" Bill's eyes probed mine, begging me. I smiled softly and nodded.

"I do." His face visibly relaxed and he smiled once again. My angel's face lit up the whole world, despite the clouds outside.

"And do you Bill Kaulitz," the priest continued happily, "take Samantha Lynne Skealburg to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

His smile got wider, if that was even possible, "I do."

"You may now kiss the bride," Bill tenderly wrapped me in his long arms and kissed me like there were no tomorrow. The way the kiss took my breathe away, maybe there wouldn't be! Father James turned to our family and friends, "I know introduce to you to Mr. and Mrs. Kaulitz."

Everyone cheered and Bill and I ran out excitedly, time for pictures! Behind us Tom and Lacy walked together because they were the best man and maid of honor. Following shortly behind them was Andreas and Amy. Then came Gustav with Annie on his arm and Georg with Ariel. Poor Georg was with the giddiest one of all of us.

As we climbed into the limo Saki grinned, "Congratulations you two. It's about time!"

Bill punched his arm, "I don't see you with anyone on your arm yet."

"Oh trust me," the body guard waggled his eyebrows, "I have a missus myself!"

"Saki!" Tom exclaimed, "How come you never told us big guy?"

"It wasn't something I was willing to discuss with a bunch of hormone raging teenage boys!" The big man laughed. "But now I figure you're good to know, I have a family started at home myself."

"Dude," Tom looked intently at him, "you should be with them and not with us!"

"But you guys are like my own sons!" Saki protested, "I could never leave you boys out in the big, lonely world all by your lonesome selves!"

Bill laughed, "I guess now is the right time to thank you for everything you do for us. Especially the makeup runs in the middle of the night."

Saki laughed along with him, "It's no problem bud."

"Well look at it this way," Gustav piped up. "Now you'll have a longer break as this kid is growing up a bit."

I looked down at my stomach where I was starting to show slightly and blushed, "I still feel bad that this is making you take time out of touring."

"Don't be," Georg smiled. "You're the one giving us a little one to spoil rotten like usual uncles should!"

Finally we reached the outside area where the reception would be held, "Ready?" Bill asked.

"Definitely!" I laughed as he helped me out of the vehicle. Bright lights flashed and blinded us.

"Shit!" Tom exclaimed, jumping out after us. "How'd they find us?"

"Dammit," Bill muttered, trying to usher me into the secured area.

"Bill," I gasped as my heal got stuck in the ground and I fell. He caught me and grinned. I laughed along with him but squeaked when he picked me up. "What are you doing?"

"I'm helping you get to the party in style," he teased me. "Can't a groom pick up his bride?"

I giggled and kissed him lightly, "My prince in silver jewelry and long hair!" I pretended to swoon.

Tom rolled his eyes, "Can you two quit putting on a show for the crowd and get in here all ready?"

"Sure thing boss!" Bill exclaimed, marching as he carried me.

**XXX**

The hours dragged on and I got more and more tired. There were so many people there and I only knew some of them. Hell, even that guy from one of the seasons of American Idol was there. I think his name was Adam Lambert or something? Him and Bill had become quite good friends over time I guess.

I saw Kyle and waved. He waved back and I caught a glimpse of his little girl. She was a little cutie. Since Jost scored him the job of technical crew at the local arena, he'd gotten really cleaned up. It was nice to see and I couldn't help but feel proud of the guy. I know the hard path he'd have to take to get there.

Just then the grooms-men walked up and grabbed my hands. "Come dance with us!" Georg exclaimed.

I laughed, "Guys, I'm too tired!"

"Too tired for even us?" Gustav asked sadly with a pout.

"Never!" I gave in. Soon I found myself being grinded on by four different guys. I laughed as I saw Bill's slightly miffed yet slightly amused face. "What's with this anyway?"

"It's tradition. We always have to try and make the groom slightly jealous when it comes to the wedding reception." Andreas explained.

I laughed, "Then let's dance!"

We moved our hips and had the whole crowd laughing as we danced. Soon the girls grabbed Bill and got him dancing. The five of us stopped to watch as they started to strip my husband. The alcohol that claimed his mind refused to let him stop laughing. Mind you, I was completely sober and laughing just as hard.

Soon Bill was dancing around with them, wearing only an unbuttoned black shirt. I whistled, "Looking hot Kaulitz!"

His eyes caught mine, "No, you're looking hot Kaulitz!"

I blushed as I remembered that little detail. I could get used to this for sure!

**XXX**

"You ready to go home now?" Bill's voice surprised me.

"What?" I jumped and whipped around.

"Your tired, you ready to go home? We have an early flight to catch in the morning." His voice was soft over all of the talk.

I nodded, "I'd love that."

Slowly we made our way back to the limo. Many people greeted us to give us their congratulations. I smiled so much that night, my cheeks began to hurt. I lay my head against Bill's shoulder as Tobi drove us home. Me and the little one were ready for bed, as was Bill. We can only stand so much partying.

I woke up to shaking, "Star, wake up baby. Star?"

"What?" I grumbled, "What do you want?"

"You have to get up if you want to make the flight."

I sat up instantly, "What do you mean? We were just in the limo!"

"No baby, we're at home and we're running late. It's a good thing we've been packed for ages. Now get up lazy bum and let's go!" I melted into his smile.

"Ok. Just for you." Slowly I got up and threw my hair in a ponytail. No way I was dressing up just to go to the airport. I was happy to see Bill wasn't dressing up either.

As we made our way to the waiting car Bill handed me a pair of sunglasses and I raised my eyebrows, "so we match," he teased. "But really, I thought you'd appreciate a new pair."

"And I do," I put them on with a smile. "Thank you baby."

"No problem love. Anything for you, even if it's just a pair of stupid sunglasses."

"Stupid, expensive sunglasses." I stuck my tongue out at him and he wrapped his arms around me. I let myself fall into his touch. I was in the limbo between perfection and real life. Waiting at the airport was a mob of crazy paparazzi.

"Great," Bill muttered seeing them, "just great."

"Relax Bill, they don't matter. Everyone knows by now anyway." I soothed him.

"True," he grabbed my hand. "Ready to face the wilderness?"

"I've been ready for ages!" I exclaimed happily. Slowly we got our luggage and walked hand in hand into the airport. Fuck the paps.

**Author's notes:**

**Hey guys!!! i still feel bad bout the long wait so hopefully this satisfies u!!! u just better review or else! Lol... **

**Im still not sure this is my fav chappy and sorry if the wedding stuff sux... the dancing actually happened at my cuz's wedding and it was awesome!! Lol... should be more romance brewing for the G's at sometime soon!**

**Updates still may take longer!!! xP**

**I less than three the boys!!! hahahahaha... 3 but sadly i don't own let alone know them! **

**Btw... have any of ya seen the boy's new hair?!?! Im not 2 sure how i feel bout it. I like how it looks on Billa but i luved Tom's sexy dreads! What do u think?**

**I luv all of my reviewers and hope u liked this chappy, tell me ur thoughts!**

**~BECKY~**


	11. Reden

**Reden**

**~TOKIO HOTEL~**

We hit turbulence again and I closed my eyes, hoping it would be over soon. Bill held my hand, slightly scared himself. The flight seemed to be getting steadily worse. Just then the pilot's voice came over the speakers again, _"Please don't panic passengers and remain buckled in your seats. We are planning to land in ten minutes in Vancouver, Canada. The storm here is getting to much. Relax and we'll be on solid ground soon."_

His voice cut out and I groaned, _Ten more minutes?_ Bill squeezed my hand, "Just relax."

Slowly I nodded, "I hate this."

"Me too love. Looks like we'll have to wait a while before we reach Costa Rica." Softly, his thumb ran smooth circles over my hands. He started humming, knowing how much his voice soothes me.

I smiled and leaned my head on his shoulder, "Thank you."

He smiled back and continued singing. His soft voice right in my ear. I shivered as his breathe tickled the nape of my neck, "Are you cold?" He asked instantly.

"Nope," I kissed his jaw. "I love you."

"Love you too sweetheart." Just then the plane started to descend. I grabbed onto Bill's hand once again. "Shh," he soothed me, "we're just landing."

I lightened my grip slightly, taking a few deep breaths. Flying had never really been my thing and this made it so much worse. After a bumpy landing we were finally free to get off the damn plane. As soon as we were outside I took a deep breath and Bill laughed. "What?" I asked.

"I've never seen anyone more relieved to be off a plane than my own mother." He shook his head. "At least you have a legitimate reason."

"Piss off Bill." I rolled my eyes and ran inside, away from the rain and planes. He followed me, laughing as we walked. Soon he linked our fingers together and I smiled to myself. At least there weren't near as many paparazzi in Canada.

**XXX**

Bill threw the suitcases onto the one bed with a sigh, "how do you like the room? Sorry I couldn't get any better than this little hole on such short notice."

To say it was a little hole was just a down-right lie! The place was more beautiful than anything I'd stayed in before hanging out with the boys. "It's perfectly fine!" I wrapped my arms around him.

"Glad you like it," his lips brushed lightly over mine. "I wish we could be in Costa Rica though. Maybe it would have been a little warmer."

"Oh be quiet Mr." I laughed, "this is actually quite nice for here I've heard. I'm just happy we get to spend some time together."

"So what do you want to do while we're here?" he asked me softly.

"I'd love to go out dancing tonight." I twirled around the room. "I haven't been dancing in such a long time!"

"Probably because you didn't want to be the only one not drinking." Bill's warm hand held mine to calm me. He rubbed my slightly swollen stomach with his other hand and a smile permanently on his face. "But tonight I'm with you."

I jumped up and down, clapping. I then wrapped my arms around his neck. "I can't wait!"

He kissed my temple, "I know you can't love. Now go shower so you can get ready!" His hand connected with my butt as I walked away. I giggled, that boy never grew up.

After a nice twenty minute shower I allowed the steam to lead the way out of the door. Bill was leaning against the opposite wall, his arms crossed. That didn't distract me from the gorgeous smile that claimed his face though. I ran up and hugged him.

"Bout time you got out," he teased.

"Hey, it takes time to be this beautiful." I grinned, kissing him.

"You're beautiful without makeup," he murmured. Slowly he pulled the towel away from me and I let it fall to the ground. "Natural beauty."

"Now, now, Mr. Kaulitz. Hold your roaming hands. No fun for you until tonight. _After_ we dance!" I gently touched his nose.

"Shoot!" He winked, "I thought we could just skip that."

"No way Mr!" I giggled, walking away. "There's no way you're backing out of this one. Now go get sexy!"

"Alright," his body disappeared into the steam and the door shut quietly. I started working on my outfit and makeup.

Fifteen minutes later Bill walked into the room wearing only a towel that was draped loosely from his hips. I continued putting on makeup, watching him get dressed out of the corner of my eye. He put on a pair of ripped black jeans, a black button-up shirt, and a silver cross necklace with only two rings. His wedding band and a big, silver one for his thumb. Then he sat beside me as I did my hair and did his makeup.

I noticed he was going very minimal and said, "You look so hot without all that makeup."

"I knew you'd like it," he smiled. "This look is for you and you only."

I smiled at him, "that's too sweet. How do I look?" He looked over my own black skinny jeans, my purple shirt with a black vest, my neon purple high-top Converse, and my silver chain necklace.

"You look fucking sexy!" He kissed my cheek. "And there is no way I'd be able to compete with you."

"Urm, I wasn't thinking that." I raised my eyebrow but when he looked so confused I cracked a smile. "I realized I'm beautiful the last time you gave me hell for being jealous about your amazingly good looks."

"So you're ready to go then?" He asked, finishing straightening his hair.

I looked myself over one last time in the mirror, "I think so. Let's just get out of here before I change my mind!"

Slowly we strolled down the streets towards the club. It was so nice out and we didn't even notice the people that stared at us. I ran ahead at one point and looked into the window of a music store. Inside held the nicest acoustic guitar I've ever seen! I gingerly touched the glass, wishing I could get it.

Bill caught up to me and placed his hand on mine. "Do you want it?"

"You are NOT getting it for me Bill! Don't even think about it." I turned to him to get my point across.

"Fine," he held up his hands, "ok, ok. You win."

I stuck my tongue out at him, "I will always win!"

He crossed his arms, "No you won't. I will win sometimes."

"Nuh,uh." I smirked as his shoulders slumped forwards. I shoved gently on his shoulder, "Don't pout!"

"But I want to!" He stuck his lip out further. It looked so cute that I had to kiss him. He instantly perked up. "Fine, you win. But you've only won the battle, not the war."

**XXX**

I danced with Bill in the sweltering heat. All the bodies on the dance floor pressed together as yet another song came on. I raised my hands in the air and Bill wrapped his arms around my waist. Our bodies moved as a whole. The joy I felt could never be taken away, even in the worst of times it would last.

After a while a band came on the stage. I cheered with everyone else as they started their first song. It was a song called _Summer Girls_. The way the whole band got into the song was amazing. It was like watching someone like Tokio Hotel who'd been performing for years up there!

"They're really good!" I exclaimed.

"Ya, some Canadian bands don't get the respect they deserve!" Bill shouted back. He knew what it was like trying to break into a biased music industry.

After a couple songs a random guy came up and tried to dance with me. I looked at Bill who shrugged. I followed the guy and we started to dance. He was really nice until he got a few more drinks into him. He started to get frisky. Stereos were just starting to take a break as I tried to push the drunk man away.

He just kept coming back and I was starting to get scared. I couldn't get to shoved around. I couldn't hurt the baby! Panic mode started to kick in. _What was I going to do? _Just then someone turned the man around, "Excuse me?"

I looked and it was the lead singer from the band Stereos. The drunk man grimaced, "Can I help you _faggot_?"

"Yes, actually. You could step away from this nice lady and get the FUCK out of here!" Anger filled the singers voice.

"Well sorry," the man started to turn away. "Didn't know you're name was on her."

When he was finally gone I shot him a smile, "thanks so much."

"No problem. Looked like you could use some help. You come with anyone?" His eyes searched mine.

"My husband," I blushed as I said it. "Can you help me look for him?"

"Sure, what does he look like?" As soon as I told him a smile cracked his face. "The famous Bill Kaulitz? So I guess that means you're also the famous Star." I nodded slowly and he stuck out his hand, "Well it's nice to meet you!"

As we searched for Bill we talked. I could see myself becoming good friends with this guy. He was so sweet and sincere, completely the opposite of what you'd probably expect if you first saw him. Finally we found him, "I've been looking for you everywhere!" Bill grabbed me into a hug.

I hugged him back tightly, "Bill, this is Pat."

Pat shook Bill's hand and said, "It's nice to finally meet you. Your band is a big inspiration for mine!"

The smile that lit up Bill's face was priceless. I don't know if it was just me, but I'm sure that there was a new friendship in the works. For the rest of the night Bill was talking with Pat every time Stereos wasn't performing. I loved that it worked out this way because I've also gained a new friend.

**Author's Notes:**

**This story is really starting to come along. I'm thinking that because of one reviewer... I'm going to make this a saga. Tell me if u'd want it to be one! Otherwise after this story its over! Ur thoughts?**

**We'll have to wait until after the whole honeymoon thinger before we have more w/ the G's! Srry if that disappoints u!!! (plz don't kill me!)**

**Don't know or own the boys no matter how often I wish at 11:11 xP**

**R&R plz!!! *hugglz***

**~BECKY~**


	12. Crazier

**CRAZIER**

**~Taylor Swift~**

I snuggled closer to Bill in the booth and his arm tightened around me. Gently I lay my head on his shoulder. He was still engrossed in the conversation he was having with Pat. I swear they must have lost track of time. Hell, I'd even lost track of time until I looked at my phone. Hearing about all the struggles of the music industry from two people's points of view was pretty sweet.

Eventually, my body started to sag along with my head. The clock was ticking closer and closer to four AM. I smiled softly as Bill said, "When we were eighteen we tried getting into the American fan-base. We really didn't make much of an impact until over a year later." I could just see his smile in my mind. Slowly the picture became fuzzy around the edges and the scene shifted to myself as a fifteen year old girl.

_I sat crying against my door. My newly ex-boyfriend was beating on the door, begging for me to open it. How was I supposed to open the door when I knew who was on the other side? How was I supposed to open the door when the person I longed for had forgotten me? "Go AWAY!" I screamed through my tears._

"_Let me in already you fucking bitch!" His fists collided with the door yet again, making my whole body shake._

_The tears fell even faster. How had I gotten mixed up with this guy? How did I ever think I __**LOVED **__him? He gave one last hard shove and the door opened, sending me sprawling across the floor. A manic grin claimed his once beautiful face. A face so much like Bill's would be once he was twenty. "Aw look, even in a fight you'll spread your legs for me."_

I awoke with a start, shaking violently. Bill was holding me tightly, "Are you OK baby?" Concern claimed his beautiful features. I flinched slightly, remembering _**him**_.

Slowly I nodded, "I'm fine." That's when I realized we were still at the club. Pat looked at me with worried eyes and I repeated myself, "I'm fine."

"I think it's time we got back to the hotel." Bill checked his phone. "Holy shit, why didn't you tell me it was so late?"

"Didn't want to interrupt," I murmured.

Pat smiled, "I should probably go too. It was really great meeting you two. Who knows, maybe we'll see each other again sometime!"

I smiled back at him. That man had WAY to much energy for five in the morning. "Nice meeting you too." I tried to stifle a yawn unsuccessfully and he laughed.

"Goodnight you two."

"See you Pat," Bill nodded, "nice talking to you. Good luck with your tour!"

Finally we were going back to the hotel. In the cab on the way back to the hotel Bill sat incredibly close to me. Our fingers were intertwined and our hands rested on Bill's leg. Even when I wasn't looking at him, I could feel his eyes watching me. He leaned in closer to me, "Are you sure you're OK? You seemed quite scared back there."

"Sorry about that. It was just a nightmare." I made a face before giggling slightly. "Wow, a nightmare while at a nightclub. I can't believe I fell asleep."

Bill chuckled, "Sorry we didn't include you in the conversation."

"It's Ok. Just don't think you're getting any tonight," I whispered so only he could hear me.

He laughed outright then as the cab came to a complete stop. "Come on, how can you resist this?" He asked as we got out.

"Trust me, I can." I stuck my tongue out at him and started walking towards the hotel as he paid the driver.

**XXX**

Yawning, I cracked open a single eye. I was met with Bill's long neck and I smiled as he shivered. Kissing his pulse-point lightly I tried to back away slightly without waking him. I got far enough to sit up, but then his arm that was wrapped around my waist tightened and he wouldn't let go. I lay back down, I guess there was nothing important I was going to do anyway.

Bill yawned, shifting slightly. I held my breath until he got comfortable again. I snuggled as close as possible to my husband. Skin on skin created a fire only my Billa could put out. I shifted as my thoughts wandered. The heat between my legs grew and I longed to feel Bill inside me again.

_Bill's long, pale body hovered over me. Slowly he leaned down and placed kisses all over my face. "You sure you're ready?"_

_I nod once, wanting him inside me already. "Please Bill," I whisper._

_He completes me fully and I moan. My Billa. Forever mine._

Slowly I opened my eyes and now the sun was shining against the curtains. Bill was propped up on an elbow, watching me. "How was your dream this time?" He asked with a smirk.

I blushed. "What did I do now?"

"Oh, just talked a bit about how big someone was. Any idea you'd tell me who you were talking about?"

I smiled, "That's kind of awkward. It was an old boyfriend if you must know."

His smile disappeared in less than a second and I laughed, milking it up. "Ya, he was really big and he was just, God!" I moaned and squirmed a bit.

Before I knew it Bill had me pinned underneath him. "Do you enjoy making me jealous?" He growled, almost scaring me. Almost.

I smiled and caught his lips passionately. "It was you dumb ass. Fuck, you're as hard as a rock and look," I pulled him out of his boxers, "huge."

He looked at me like I was on crack. "Are you OK? Do I have to take you for mental testing? Have I married a psycho?"

"Yes Billa, but that's why you love me." I smiled. "Don't worry, I haven't picked up on my old bad habit, you just make me Crazier than ever before."

"Really?" A smile claimed his face.

"Ya, it feels like I'm falling and I'm always lost in your eyes. You make me crazier." I shrugged, "now are you going to make up for last night?"

That sealed the deal and his lips crashed into mine. Soon all of our clothes were shed and kissing led to even more. In no time he had me squirming beneath him and out moans became one.

**XXX**

Quickly I threw on one of Bill's many hoodies and started throwing everything back into my suitcase. Out morning adventures put us behind schedule and if we didn't hurry, we were going to miss our re-scheduled flight to Costa Rica. With one last look over the room and snapped my suitcase shut. "Ready?" I called to Bill.

"Yup, let's go." He grabbed his own two suitcases and we hurriedly walked towards the elevator. Once we hit the main floor Bill ran towards the receptionist desk and gave them our keys. We were really behind schedule!

A cab was waiting for us outside and the driver was nice enough to help us with our bags. "Running late?" He asked kindly.

I nodded, "it's been a hectic two days."

He smiled, "to the airport then?"

"Yes please!" Bill grinned. All the way to the airport we chatted with the man. He even commented on some sights as we drove by. We reached the airport in what I would guess as record time. "Thank you so much," Bill smiled.

"No problem," the man nodded. "Have a great holiday!"

I waved as the man got back in the cab and drove off. Then we grabbed our bags and started to run as our flight was called.

**XXX**

Bill and I sat on the beach, completely enjoying ourselves. The sun beat down and everyone around us was wearing a smile. The smell of seaweed and salt drifted off of the ocean and I breathed deeply. This was only my second time on vacation at the ocean. I had forgotten how the beach could stretch on for miles and sometimes the water would only come up to your knees for ages.

"Billa," I sang.

"Yes love?" Bill mumbled, half asleep.

"Will you rub me down?" I gave him puppy dog eyes as he cracked one eye open.

He smirked, "I don't think this is the right place to do that."

I smacked him, "You dirty little pervert!" He laughed, "I meant with sun block."

"I guess," he grabbed the bottle. "As long as you promise to return the favor."

"Of course," I shivered slightly as the cool cream came in contact with my warm skin. I lay down and he rubbed it all over my back. As he did this my mind wandered to his comment. I guess this could turn kinky.

"What are you smiling about hun?" Bill asked as I rolled over so he could finish the job.

I smirked, "How kinky this could turn."

We both laughed and I started on Bill. His once pale skin now was nicely browned and I was slightly jealous. My skin was more red than anything. After a few minutes I was finished so I started massaging his shoulders. He moaned, "That feels really good."

"I love you Billa."

"Love you too Sam," he closed his eyes. I smiled, he used my real name and I actually didn't mind. So many people now called me Star it was nice. Sam Kaulitz had a certain ring to it. Something that love made so much better.

**Author's Notes:**

**hey guys!!! how u liking it? A saga is more than 3 stories for all of you who don't know! And your thoughts about it would be osm!! Btw... Pat is actually the lead singer of the Canadian band **_**Stereos**_** and I don't know or own him! You should listen to them tho cuz they are pretty good!**

**Honeymoon ideas would be welcomed! OoooOOo... Ready Set Go just came on the Ipod!... anyway...... thnx 2 those of u who did review!!! *HUGGLZ***

**i don't know or own the boys......... =]**

**if this chappy isn't the greatest (im really not 2 sure) im sorry! My excuse this time is that I have heat stroke! I really do tho and I've been sick for 3 days now... it sucks something major! =[ thnx again evry1!**

**~BECKY~**


	13. New Hair

Chapter 13

"Wake up, wake up, wake up!" Bill jumped up and down on the bed. I groaned, trying to avoid his feet. "Honey, wake up! It's two o'clock already!"

"Bill, please stop. I'm gonna be sick." Instantly he stopped and plopped down beside me.

"You Ok?" he brushed back some of my hair.

I nodded, "ya, are you serious about the time?"

"Yup, and we're going to get our hair done!" The smile that claimed his face was excited and I couldn't help but smile with him.

"So you've finally decided what you want to get done then?" I raised my eyebrow. He's been very secretive about what he wants to get done for a long time. He's only ever hinted once or twice to me. "Well?"

He shifted his eyes, "Maybe,"

"God, you should just tell me!" he laughed and I folded my arm. "Fine then, be that way."

"I will be. Now get up so we can get our hair done!"

"Our hair?" I almost fell off the bed in shock.

His long arms pulled me back onto the soft mattress. His eyes were laughing at me so I pouted. "Oh come off it," he smiled at me, "and yes, you're getting yours done."

I growled at him, "why didn't I hear about this?"

"Cause I wanted to surprise you?" I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"Fine. I'll be ready in twenty minutes."

"I love you," he called as I walked away.

"I know you do!" I called over my shoulder.

**XXX**

The sun beat down and a thin layer of sweat was starting to form across my back. If we ended up walking much farther, I was going to pass out. "How much farther Bill?" I whined.

He laughed, tugging on my hand as I stopped. "Just up here."

"You've been saying that for the last ten minutes!"

"But this time I mean it!" I looked at him and he laughed, "I'm serious!"

"Fine," I huffed. True to his word, a few short steps later we were in front of a little shop filled with people getting their hair done. "Oh Billa, it's so cute!"

"I know!" He smiled down at me and gave my hand a squeeze. "Come inside!"

Slowly we made our way inside. It was so packed, you had to move slowly as to not step on anyone's feet. "How are we supposed to get all the way back there?" I asked.

"Slowly," was Bill's reply.

So patiently, we moved only when someone shuffled slightly. It took quite a while, but eventually we made it. A petite lady smiled at us. "How may I help you?" She asked in rough English.

Bill answered, "We'd like to get our hair done."

As soon as the words left his mouth there was a crowd of people around us. I got pulled in one direction while Bill went in the other. I couldn't understand them as they spoke to me and I felt panic rising. Finally one person handed me a book full of hairstyles I could get done there and I smiled thankfully at her. She nodded and smiled back.

I flipped through the book and saw anything from haircuts to braids to dreads. Finally I picked out a hairstyle and pointed to it. They nodded and set to work. Within ten minutes, I was finished. When I stood, Bill was there. I gasped and reached out my hand, taking a strand of his hair in between my fingers.

The tight braids suited him. He smiled at me and twisted a strand of my newly braided hair around his finger. "Looks like we both have the same taste."

I giggled, "hasn't it always been that way though? Your hair looks good."

"Thanks. I almost got dreads, but decided that's Tom's thing." He shrugged.

"I'm sure you'd look good in anything hun, but I'm glad you didn't get dreads." He put his arm around my shoulders.

"Let's go show off our new hair."

"I agree!" I wrapped my arm around his waist and walked back into the sunlight. Funny, it was almost cooler outside than in that little space.

**XXX**

"Are you packed yet?" I asked Bill exhausted. For the last two weeks we've been doing nothing but touring around and being together. Currently my feet were propped up and I was just relaxing. I had already finished packing earlier.

"Almost," he called back. I heard a grunt and a thud and jumped up.

"Bill?" Panic claimed my voice.

Soon his dark head appeared around the corner, "I'm fine."

I collapsed back onto the couch. "You scared me!"

"Sorry love. I think we bought to much crap." I questioned him with my eyes. "Ok, ok. _I_ bought to much crap!"

"That's better." I grinned and stretched, "I can't wait to get home."

"I know how you feel." He sat beside me. "Sam, you have one nasty sunburn. That's not healthy."

"Don't you think I know that?" I asked.

"Aw Tomato, don't be mad." He teased me.

I smacked his arm, "shut up."

He kissed my cheek lightly, "you're still beautiful."

"You're entitled to say that, you're my husband." I leaned against his shoulder.

"Yes, but anyone else would vouch for me as well." He kissed my temple.

"Fine, you win." I sighed and snuggled closer. "I don't know if I really want to leave."

"We can always come back love." Bill threw in.

I made a face, "but by then I'll want to go somewhere new."

"Anything for you." Bill cooed and I kissed him lightly. "See, I love your rewards for me."

**XXX**

"Star!!!!!" Before I knew it Lacy had thrown herself at me and I stumbled backwards. Her hug was like a vice and I patted her back. When she didn't get the hint I smacked the back of her head and she pulled away, breathless herself, "sorry. I missed you!"

I laughed, "I missed you too!" We embraced yet again. After we pulled apart I turned to everyone else, "Hey guys! How's things been here?"

"Lonely without you two making so much racket all the time!" Tom smiled and came over to give me a big hug. "You're looking good, if not a little red."

I grimaced, "Tell me about it."

"Well did anyone miss me?" Bill asked from behind me.

"Naw," they all said and he pouted. "Of course we did Bill." Andi hugged his best friend.

"Yay! I'm loved!" He jumped up and down, clapping his hands.

"Oh god, he's making a scene." Tom rolled his eyes jokingly.

Bill stopped, "shut up Tomi. Admit it, you missed me!"

"Fine, you caught me! How's my little brother been? Taking care of his girl I see."

They grinned and hugged each other. Then the topic came up thanks to Amy, "I love your guy's hair. You got it matching!"

I blushed, "ya, but it actually wasn't planned."

"Nope. I never once told her what I was getting and she picked hers out herself." Bill threw in.

"It looks nice." Both Bill and I beamed. We walked hand in hand out of the airport, happy to be back with our friends and family. Two weeks was just to much when you're used to living next door to everyone.

**Author's Notes:**

**wow... a shitty chapter in my own thoughts. How about urs?**

**Srry its been such a long wait to! I've been working 40 hour weeks and i haven't been near a computer since that last update! DON'T KILL ME!!!!!!!! *hides behind saki* **

**seriously... i feel like shit for making you wait so don't hate me is all i ask! I don't know or own the boys...**

**Read and review plz.... i obviously need some good inspiration!**

**~BECKY~**


	14. Come Clean

**COME CLEAN**

**~Hilary Duff~**

**Two Weeks Later**

"Bill," I moaned as his mouth ran down my body, leaving a trail of kisses. When he reached my slightly swelling belly he looked back up at me. A soft smile was on his face and he winked at me. "Quit being a goof and get up here and kiss me."

As soon as the words left my mouth his lips were back on mine. I pushed my hips up to his, closing my eyes in pleasure. I kissed his jaw and down his neck. My fingers brushed over his body. This was the last time I would be seeing him for a few weeks. They were going on tour once again. Humanoid had been released last week and they had already post-poned the tour to give Bill some time to recover from the honeymoon.

Soon our clothes were lying on the floor once again. Bill sucked on my neck as his hands played with my breasts. I moaned into his hair, begging him. He teased me a little more before finally slipping in. I pushed myself to him as much as I could until absolutely no space existed between our bodies. I threw my head back in pleasure before Bill captured my lips with his once again.

We lay together, enjoying being in the other's arms. I knew without him, I would be a mere shell. He was the whole reason behind my existence. My whole heart, soul, and very being was now his. Bill's hand brushed my braided hair back. "I love you."

Those three simple words that he tells me often still had the power to stop my heart. I looked up at his smiling face and made a face. His gentle laughter made me giggle myself. While in his arms, everything was right. "I love you too Billa."

He kissed the tip of my nose and squeezed me in his arms. "You'll keep safe for me, right?" He looked me directly in the eyes.

I nodded, "Of course."

"Good." He pulled me tighter to him. His breathing tickled my ear, sending shivers down my spine. Eventually his breathing evened out and his arms slackened. I relaxed and let myself fall asleep in his arms once again.

**XXX**

I kissed him again as he stepped up into the bus. "Be careful! I love you! Call me after your show!"

"I will babe. Take it easy; I'll see you in a bit. I love you too." With that his dark head disappeared and only Gustav was left.

"See you Star," he gave me a big hug. "I'll miss you. Don't worry, I'll watch out for him."

"Thanks Gusti. Do me a favor?"

He smiled, "Anything."

"Watch out for yourself." I winked. "We need our teddy bear to be healthy too."

He grinned, "I always do. Goodbye."

"Bye." I smiled softly. Seeing them off was always hard. The rain dripped off of the umbrella I held over my head. I waved as the bus drove away along with Amy, Lacy, and Andreas. "Would you guys like to come in and warm up?" I asked.

They all nodded kindly and we walked up the steps. The puddles were silently growing and I sighed. This rain was getting ridiculous. We all sat down and I poured everyone some coffee. Andreas winked, he always knew how to cheer me up. Soon they were all cracking jokes again and all of us were laughing.

**XXX**

**(GUSTAV"S POV)**

We all sat around on the bus, laughing. Georg was making stupid jokes about Lady Gaga's newest obsession. Like seriously? Old lady floral outfits? Are you kidding me? And the face mask! Bill was literally rolling on the floor with tears streaming down his cheeks.

I looked out the window and frowned at the dark clouds and drizzle that distorted the world outside the windows. "What's up Gustav?" Tom's voice caught my attention.

I looked at him and shrugged. "Just the weather. It's being so weird."

He looked out the window as well and sighed. "That it is. Wonder what's gonna happen to that outdoor concert we are supposed to go to next week if this continues."

"Don't say that!" Tom punched me in the arm. "It will clear up." Yet the look on his face was skeptical.

"Dude!" Bill called, slightly out of breath. "Why are you guys looking so glum over there? Get your asses over here and join in!" In his hand was a bottle of vodka.

"Bill," Tom rolled his eyes, grabbing the clear bottle out of his twin's hands, "you know how much of a lightweight you are."

"Give it back Tom!" Bill reached out for it, but Tom pulled it farther away. "TOM!" Bill pouted. Uh-oh. Tom could never resist Bill's pout.

"Fine," sure enough, the dread-headed man gave in. "But at least share a bit."

**XXX**

**(STAR'S POV)**

I ran up the stairs, going to grab my newest pair of jeans to show Lacy. I swung the door open and fell on my face as I tripped over something lying on the floor. Bill's makeup case. Shit! He never goes without it! I cursed and got up, giving myself a quick check. I hadn't hit my belly and I sighed in relief. The baby should be ok.

I thundered down the stairs and Amy met me at the bottom. "Are you OK? We thought we heard you fall." Her eyes were inspecting me.

"I'm fine," I gave her a smile. "Bill forgot his makeup. Do you guys mind if I meet them somewhere so I can give it to him. They can't be that far."

"Of course not!" Andreas stood, "Need me to drive you?"

"I can drive myself. Thanks though." I saw his eyes flicker to the window but shrugged it off. Nothing I hadn't driven in before.

"Be careful, ok?" Lacy looked me directly in the eyes. "The roads aren't very nice."

"I will." I grinned. "I'll be back shortly. You guys know where everything is, make yourselves at home." I grabbed my coat and an umbrella and got into my car. The weather was horrible! I turned on the radio and the news was on. There was chatter about a car accident so I switched the station. Stupid kids, the weather gets bad and they don't know how to control their vehicles.

I bopped my head along to the music with a soft smile on my face. I grabbed my phone and dialed Bill's number. After the fourth ring he answered, "Hello?" His voice was intoxicating.

"Bill," I sighed.

"What did you miss me already?" Laughter was evident in his voice. I grinned, shaking my head.

"Of course honey."

**XXX**

**(BILL'S POV)**

I laughed as Star giggled on the other end of the phone. I missed her so much already, I wasn't sure how I was going to survive. "Are you driving?" My voice became serious. I knew how bad the roads are.

There was a slight hesitation before she answered. "You forgot your makeup."

"Damn it!" I thought I had forgotten something. "I guess I'll have to go buy some before tomorrow night."

"Where are you guys?" She asked.

"Don't you dare drive to meet us." My voice commanded before I even thought about it. In this weather, she was bound to get hurt.

"To late Bill," her voice was light. "Just tell me where to meet you and I will be there."

"Star," my voice was strained, "are you insane?"

"About you? That would be a yes." She was still smiling, I could hear it in her voice.

I sighed and gave her a place to meet. I wanted it to be as soon as possible for us so she didn't have to drive to far. I said goodbye and hung up the phone. "She's calling you already?" Tom asked, looking at his phone.

"Ya, I forgot some stuff." I grinned, knowing they would tease me later. "I gotta go talk to Jost and the driver, be right back."

**XXX**

**(TOM'S POV)**

I smirked, "He is constantly forgetting something, eh?"

"Yes, every time we go on tour!" Georg laughed. "I swear he spends more money than we make when we go on tour for the things he forgets!"

Gustav chuckled in the corner, shaking his head. A bottle of Yeager was in his hand and he looked entirely relaxed. "I think its because he is just so caught up with his wife."

"Shut it Mr.!" I chucked a pillow at his head. "And I think you've had enough booze."

I took the bottle from his hands and took a gulp. It burned, but in a good way. The door between the front and our lounge area opened and Bill stepped out with a smile. "Stretching break in fifteen minutes!"

As Bill walked towards us the brakes of the bus squealed over the sound of our music. Bill lurched forward and was flung to the floor. Panic set in as I realized our whole world was turning upside down. I wrapped my arms around my head, wishing I could see the others.

**XXX**

**(STAR'S POV)**

The rain started to come down worse. It was getting difficult to see even though the wipers were on high. I looked over at the clock and grinned, about fifteen more minutes. I looked up and saw something huge in the distance. Slowing, I tried to distinguish it. Through the pouring rain, it was difficult.

The closer I got, the harder my heart started to pound. It couldn't be. No way it could be. Red and blue lights flashed over the scene. At least four vehicles, including a semi and a bus lying across the road. I came to a complete stop, noticing the emergency vehicles were just arriving. I flung off my seatbelt and called Bill once again. No answer. I ran outside towards the bus. Not my husband!

**Author's Notes:**

**oh man im sooooooooooooooooo SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!! you cant even begin to imagine wat my life has been like lately. I never have down time and i have had the HUGEST writer's block ever!**

**I went from work till Sunday night the one night to first day of school the next day. Volleyball started the second day of skool and has been going since as well as my piano. Family stuff has been insane and my boyfriend and i have been spending as much time together as possible for long distance before he moves again.**

**Plz don't kill me im gonna work on the next chapter right now! Thank you for reviews you guys! 3**

**plz keep em coming!**

**~BECKY~**


	15. All You Did Was Save My Life

**ALL YOU DID WAS SAVE MY LIFE**

**~Our Lady Peace~**

I ran over the wet pavement as fast as I could. This wasn't happening. The rescue crews were working on the semi driver and the people inside the car. I paid them no attention. Someone saw me running and shouted out for me to stop, I kept running. The only thought that ran through my head was _Not Bill_.

My heart pounded in my ears. The rain bouncing off of the metal sounded like bullets. My stomach rolled as I pulled myself up onto the flipped bus. This wasn't happening, it was all a bad dream. I slipped as I neared the door, landing on my knees, clinging to whatever my hands could grasp. It was at that point I knew this wasn't a bad dream. This was my worst nightmare playing out in reality.

I wretched open the door as quickly as I could, tearing off nails. Yet the pain didn't come. All I could think about was getting to the guys. As soon as the door opened I was met with a bleeding Jost. "David, are you ok?" I asked frantically.

"The guys," he murmured in shock. "They are back there."

"I know. You have to come out and get help," I looked around and shouted, "We need help over here!"

I heard the faint noise of feet hitting the wet pavement as they came to help us. They weren't moving fast enough. David was trying to climb out, but something was wrong. His legs weren't working properly. It was then that I saw a bone protruding from torn flesh. I leaned over and gagged, my stomach heaving.

"David," I murmured. My voice became louder and I commanded, "stop! You're going to hurt yourself worse!" I grabbed his arm and counted to three. Together we pulled him out and up onto the wet metal. "You can't move ok?"

"Sure," he nodded, obviously numb from shock.

"I'm going in to help the others." All he did was nod dumbly and I lowered myself gently to the bottom, avoiding the unconscious driver. I called out, "Guys, can you hear me?"

"In here!" Georg's deep voice called. "I need help! They're hurt!"

I held back the tears that threatened to spill. "Georg?"

"Ja,"

"It's Star. I'm coming in ok?" I didn't wait for his answer before I squeezed into the living area of the bus. Everything was turned upside down and I gasped. I quickly spotted Georg and crawled as fast as I could to him. "Are you OK?"

He gave me a small, forced smile. "I'm fine. How did you get here?"

"I was supposed to meet you. But that's not important, where are the other's?" I saw tears on his cheeks and bit my lip. "Georg, who's hurt?"

"It's Tom. He's hurt the worst. Gustav broke is ankle I think. Something landed on it. I haven't heard Bill at all." There was a tortured look in his eyes.

I took a deep breathe and nodded, "I'm going to get them. Help should be in here soon, they were tending to Jost last I saw." Slowly I crawled towards Gustav. He was leaning against the roof of the bus, covered in blood. I gasped and noticed the glass lying all around him.

"Star, don't come close. Go around the glass I will be ok." I couldn't argue once he gave me a look. I knew he was looking out for me, no matter the pain he was in.

"Tom?" I murmured.

"He won't answer," Gustav threw in, pointing. "He is between the counter and cupboards. I think he hit his head. Either way he is unconscious."

I nodded, "I'm going to check it out." I peered into the gap and saw Tom lying there, looking as if he were simply asleep. I did a quick check and figured the only bones that would have been broken would be his ribs. Yet I was worried about his head. There was no blood, which was a good sign.

I turned to the blond again, "Did you see Bill?"

He shook his head, "I think he is that way or something."

I was scared. No, I was _**more**_ than scared. What would I find? Would he still be alive? I took a deep breath and crawled through the door to the area with the TV. "Bill?" I called out.

A low moan came from the corner and I sped up. I wasn't watching where I was going and glass pierced through my hands. I stifled a sob and pulled the glass out of my hand, ignoring the blood. "Billa, I'm coming for you."

I found him in the corner, the TV on top of his chest. Frantically I pulled at the heavy electronic. _Why the hell do they have such a fucking heavy TV on the bus?!_ I wondered as I tried to get it off of Bill. He was gasping for breath. "It's OK Bill. We're getting this." Sweat started to drip down my face and neck. "Georg?" I called out.

He didn't answer and I wanted to cry. How was I supposed to help Bill when I could hardly move the damn thing? Fear gripped my body. _What if I didn't get it off in time. What if he was seriously hurt? What would I do if he died?_ I sniffed and continued to rip at the TV. "Fuck!" I screamed as Bill closed his eyes.

Instantly they opened again and he smiled at me. "You're doing it." His voice was very raspy and quiet. It broke my heart. "You've got this Star. You're doing great. Keep going. Don't give up on me."

"I won't," I whispered, "I promise." With that I worked harder.

I heard voices, "Where are you?" They called.

"Over here!" I shouted as loud as I could in a strained voice. "We are in here!"

Soon two men appeared and saw me struggling. One grabbed the TV, making sure it didn't go back onto Bill anymore than it already was while the other pulled me out of there. "You OK?" He asked and I nodded. "Were you in the bus when it happened?"

I shook my head. "I was going to meet them. Bill, my husband, he's the one in there, forgot some stuff. You need to help him!"

"We are ma'am don't worry. You are very brave, you know that? The blond guy who was in here, he told us what you did." I raised my eyebrows. "He told us you didn't go looking directly for your husband, but made sure the others were ok first. That's so brave and I'm pretty sure I will never have the courage you do and this is my job!"

I gave him a forced smile and he patted me on the back. "Thank you."

"It's the truth," he shrugged. "Let's get you out of here."

Once we were back outside in the rain, I felt myself relax a bit. Exhaustion was setting in and I sighed. The voices brought me back to the present unfortunately. All the medical crew were spread out over the road, rushing stretchers from the vehicles to one of the numerous ambulances parked all around.

I saw them bring Bill out and moved towards him. He grabbed my hand and gave me a weak smile. Trust Bill to be smiling even in the worst situations. "Are you ok?" He asked quietly.

I nodded with tears in my eyes. "Are you?"

He laughed softly, "yes! Thank you so much babe, you literally saved my life."

I squeezed his hand, "I wasn't about to let you die on me. We have a family to care for." I felt his fingers slip from my grasp as they pulled him to the ground to take him to a waiting ambulance. "Can I go with him?" I asked he guy quietly.

He nodded, "of course." With that he helped me down carefully and we walked to the ambulance. It was in the lights he realized how badly I had been cut and said, "you need to go anyway. You should probably get checked out."

I sighed, "ok. Thank you for everything sir."

"It's my job." He gave me one last friendly smile and ran off to help with the other casualties that had happened.

**XXX**

I sat, curled up in the comfortable chair beside Bill's bed. He was still fast asleep, the medication from his surgery not yet worn off. They had to stop his internal bleeding. I held his hand in my own and hummed to myself. I had gotten a few stitched from the glass I had come across, otherwise they told me I was fine. I laid my head back and fell asleep.

Pain. Intense pain. I woke whimpering and when my eyes opened Bill's face was scrunched up in worry. "Star, are you ok?"

"Bill," I gasped, "you're awake! How do you feel?"

"Star, answer me!" He commanded. "Are you Ok?"

I sobbed, "It hurts Billa. It hurts a lot!"

Before I could stop him he had pressed the help button. Shortly after a nurse was at the door. "Yes Mr. Kaulitz?"

"It's Star. She is in pain. Is that normal for a pregnant woman?" He questioned though we both knew the answer already.

"It depends, how far along are you Mrs. Kaulitz?" She asked softly.

"She is almost four months." Bill threw in before I could answer.

Worry lines formed on her forehead and I hunched over as another wave of pain claimed my body. She spoke quickly, "I'm going to get a chair and you need to get checked out immediately."

Before I knew it I was in a hospital gown, having an ultra-sound. I couldn't pay attention or listen for a heart beat. The pain was to much. I hardly noticed when they didn't move me from the Gurney before it was rolling down the hospital hallways. "What's going on?" I asked softly.

"Shh, honey. It will be alright," the same nurse said, smoothing back my hair. "Just relax, we are going to take care of you." I let myself believe her just this once and closed my eyes.

**Author's Notes:**

**Hey guys! Another update and in a short amount of time! I still feel bad about the HUGE wait from this summer! So I am going to start the next chapter soon!**

**Haven't checked if I got any new reviews yet but if I have thanks so much! *Gives cookies* plz keep reviews coming guys they are my inspiration!**

**I don't know or own Tokio Hotel! (Unfortunately ;-])**

**~BECKY~**


	16. Sweet Dreams

Chapter 16

Black claimed my very being, my very soul. I felt nothing. It was as if I were floating alone in a dark, starless night on a soft cloud. I liked it here, where I didn't have to deal with anything. Being numb was something I was familiar with, and it was just so much better than the pain. Something that made me enjoy that exact moment.

Unfortunately reality was coming back to me. Slowly my eyes fluttered open. The room was dimly lit and I shifted softly. The bed no longer felt as soft as I originally thought. "Bill?" I called out.

Nobody answered and I strained my eyes. The curtains wrapped around my bed were suffocating. It felt like they were closing in on me. Slowly I sat up on the edge of the bed before standing. Something pulled in my stomach but I paid no attention. I was just glad the pain had disappeared. Pulling back the curtain slowly, I shuffled over the cool floor to the door.

A nurse looked up from her paper work at the desk outside of the door. "Mrs. Kaulitz? You shouldn't be up right now!"

I gave her a strained smile. "I need to see Bill."

"Hunni, go back in your room. He is in the other bed." She smiled kindly, walking over and grabbing my arm gently.

Together we walked back in and she sat me in the wheelchair that was in the room. Then she proceeded to pull back the curtain. As if Bill sensed me, his eyes snapped open. "Star!"

"Bill!" I tried to stand but the nurse held me down.

"You must stay in this chair or in the bed OK? You need to recover." I nodded and she finally walked away, leaving Bill and I together.

I smiled up at my husband. There were tears in his eyes. "What's wrong Bill?"

"Star," he swept my hair back from my eyes, "baby."

His voice was so quiet and it killed me. I pushed myself out of the chair and this time felt the dull pain. I gingerly reached down towards my stomach and it didn't feel right. I crawled into Bill's bed, "What's wrong with me? Why isn't my belly like it was before."

"Baby, just stay calm OK. It will be OK we will work this out." At his rushed voice worry set in.

"Bill. My baby! What happened to my baby?!?!" It had finally clicked.

"I'm so sorry baby! They had to!" He held my flailing hands to his chest with amazing strength. "It was to late."

"Bill! They can't take my baby! Why? I was careful! Oh God no! Please say it didn't happen!"

He pulled me tight to his body and held me as sobs wracked my body. His own tears dampened the top of my head. Our baby had died and I never got to meet it. We sat there for what could have been hours, lost in our own thoughts. My child. The one person besides Bill I had come to love more than anything else in this whole world. Gone.

"Was it a boy or girl?"

He shook his head, "I don't know. They wouldn't tell me anything. They were waiting for you to wake up. You were in so much pain Star. It killed me to watch it happen. But you need to sleep," his tender hands smoothed over my hair trailing until he started rubbing small circles on my back. Eventually I fell asleep.

**XXX**

Sitting alone in the room I allowed myself to break down. Bill had gone for a check up and should be getting released from the hospital soon. Yet they kept me here. Sure, I was often crying but it was no reason for them to keep me. It's not like I was going to go back to cutting myself. I still had Bill to keep me grounded, to be my rock.

I wrapped my arms around myself and curled into a ball, tears streaming down my cheeks. I couldn't sleep anymore. Nightmares plagued my mind all hours. In the nightmares my baby would be there, smiling up at me. His tiny arms would flail in the air and I would try to pick him up. Yet every time I got close he seemed to slip a little farther away. When he cried I wanted nothing more than to hold him.

But as cruel as life is, I couldn't live with it. I had to break down when my baby was gone. The baby I would never truly know. Little Tyler. I smiled at the name Bill and I had decided to put on the tombstone. Even though he never truly lived, he needed the recognition. My sweet, sweet baby boy.

"Star," a cool hand touched my shoulder gently. I quickly wiped away the tears and rolled over to see who it was. Lacy gave me a gentle smile and I returned a watery one. "Oh hunni," she wrapped her arms around me, "I'm so sorry."

I clung to her like my life depended on it and sobbed. She just sat there and held me close. We didn't have to speak because we both knew what the other would say. The silence was comforting and eventually I began to calm down. "Thank you for coming here."

"No problem sweety, don't worry about it. I had to come see my best friend!" She smiled again and pulled me in for yet another hug.

I smiled for the first time as I saw Andreas make his big entrance. "I hear there is one of my besties that needs cheering up in here?" The blonde jumped as the door hit the wall with a bang.

I giggled slightly and Lacy did as well, "hi Andi!"

Before I knew it I was swept up into his long arms into a tight hug. "Oh! Squeeze hug!" I shut my eyes and enjoyed the hug.

When he finally set me down on the bed I gasped for air, "Thanks Andi."

"No problem shorty!" He ruffled my hair with a goofy grin.

The room continued to fill as all of my friends came in. Tom and Amy walked in. The dreaded boy waved. "Tom! How are you feeling?" I asked with concern.

"Pretty good. A few cracked ribs and I get headaches sometimes, otherwise I'm fine." He paused, "How are **you**?"

I gave him a weak smile and shrugged, "I'm still living"

They all chuckled at this. We continued to talk and laugh over the next hour before Bill walked in. "Holy! Star, you're having a party and you didn't invite me? I'm disappointed." He pouted and went to his bed. "I'll just go sit alone over here I guess."

"Ok sweety, you have fun!" I gave him a cheeky wave and before I knew it he had me in his arms.

"You're not very nice, you know that?" He nuzzled my neck, sending shivers down my spine. "Guess what."

I sighed, "What Mr. I'm-pouty-so-I'm-gonna-cry-till-I-get-my-way?" I winked.

"I'm going home today and so are you!" He exclaimed, dancing around with me still in his arms.

I squealed and laughed as he danced around the room. "You're sure?" I asked.

"You betcha!" His grin was infectious, "they said you've been smiling more," he winked at me.

"Well what are we waiting for? Let's get the hell out of here!" I wrinkled my nose and everyone laughed, "Chop, chop!"

Laughing, everyone pitched in to gather everything up. Over the last week or so thousands of cards and flowers had come in for both of us from all over the world. All of us grabbed an armful as well as the home stuff that we had and walked out the door. As soon as we were outside I took a deep breath and sighed. Finally free.

Bill nudged me and I smiled up at him bravely. The smell of rain brought back the memories but I forced myself to forget. That part could now be locked away with all my other horrible memories. The place in my mind I visited as rarely as possible. The part I kept alone for when I fell asleep.

**XXX**

I woke up with a scream stuck in my throat once again. Slowly, shaking, I sat up and rubbed my face. The dull light from the moon fell across the bed. It seemed to reflect off of Bill's pale skin. I wondered who Tyler would look more like. I hoped it would have been Bill. His beauty was greater than my own.

The hole in my heart ached thinking about the little one. We were going to bury his ashes tomorrow beside Bill's grandparents. It seemed right to have him in that cemetery as opposed to my family's. More formal. A proper burial for my baby boy. The tears continued to fall down my face and I couldn't sleep anymore.

Slowly I got out of the comfortable, warm bed and made my way to the shower. My feet padded lightly on the floor and I walked to the bathroom. Splashing my face with cold water to wash away the tears I bent over the sink. Silently I grabbed a towel and dried my face. I screamed as I looked into the mirror.

"Star?!" Bill's worried voice echoed in the small room. "What happened?"

I looked up at him and shook my head. "It's nothing."

"Baby," Bill forced me to look at him, "I'm not stupid. What happened?" Concern was written all over his face.

"I just scared myself when I looked in the mirror," I shook my head. "I feel so stupid. My own reflection scared me."

"It's alright hun, I'm here for you. By the way, next time you have a nightmare don't be afraid to wake me up. I'm always here for you OK?" He sat down on the floor beside me and held me close.

I snuggled close to him, "It's not worth both of us losing sleep."

"But it is." He murmured. "I love you and I will always be here for you. Forever."

**XXX**

Bill left once again to go on tour. Yet instead of a couple months, only for a couple weeks. Yet he still left me. Jost offered to take me on tour, but I didn't want to weigh them down. Instead I stayed locked up in our house, haunted by my own thoughts. They yelled at me for not being more careful. They threatened to take away more than my baby and I was scared. I had nobody to turn to without being admitted to the crazy center.

_Why did you run around like you were five? You should have been more careful!_

_Are you stupid? He would have lived and so would your baby if you didn't try to move that TV!_

_You killed an unborn child!_

The onslaught of voices quickly took over my life. They were all I could ever hear and soon I locked myself in my dark room. My chest felt as if someone had stabbed me over and over again, leaving me to bleed out.

**Author's Notes: **

**YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!!!**

**I love the reviews u leave and it inspires me! Thank you so much! *HUGGLZ ALL AROUND (and cookies)***

**i don't know or own the boys..... or Andreas... haha...... ='[**

**some of you predicted wat would happen! Glad u connected the events ;-] tell me ur thoughts?**

**~BECKY~**


	17. Whataya Want From Me

**Whataya Want From Me**

**~Adam Lambert~**

For the first time in days, I got out of bed. I have been preparing for this day for a while now. Today, I was going out with Lacy and Andreas. I had to pretend I was happy. They were the only ones here to check on me, and as long as I could convince them, I was safe. It would be hard, considering they are two of my best friends, but I was sure I could do it.

I slowly climbed into the shower, letting the scalding water run over my body. My skin turned an angry red as the steam rose around me. I grabbed the poof that has sat unused for so long and drenched it in soap. I scrubbed at my body, rubbing it raw. Enjoying the scraping against my skin.

Time passed quickly, yet I remained under the spraying water. Eventually, the water began to cool and I wrapped myself in a towel. Little droplets of water fell from my hair, leaving a trail behind me. I wandered aimlessly around our house for a little while, barely sparing the nursery a glance. There was no way I could make myself face that. It was to much.

Finally I decided it was time I should get ready. I dragged my feet to my room and started to dig through my closet. Outfit after outfit ended up on the floor. It was becoming impossible to find anything. Giving up, I started on my hair. The brush ripped through the matted knots with difficulty. Yet the pain didn't register.

Eventually I put the brush down. With shaking hands, I began to do my makeup. It took little time and I stared at myself in the mirror. I didn't recognize the woman before me. Her pale face was stretched tightly over her bones and her eyes seemed sunk in. Gently I brushed a hand across my face, realizing for the first time how gaunt I had become.

Jumping up I finished getting dressed. My mind whirled as I looked back on the last couple weeks. After losing the baby, I lost myself. I forgot who I was. I forgot those who cared about me. I probably even hurt them. Tears of anger towards myself threatened to over throw me. With a last minute choice I picked up the phone.

"_Hello?"_ The deep voice picked up on the second ring.

"Bill," I murmured into the phone.

"_Star, is everything ok?"_

I smiled into the phone, "I'm sorry for everything." He tried to interrupt but I kept going, "I have been a shell. I forgot that you must be hurting just as much. I love you Billa."

"_It's ok honey. I promise. I miss you."_

"I miss you too," I twirled a strand of hair around my finger. "I can't wait to see you again."

"_I know baby, but it won't be to long. We're wrapping up the tour in a couple weeks. Then I'll be home once again."_

"I know," I sighed, "Be safe Ok? I'm going out with Andreas and Lacy tonight. I love you."

I could hear the smile in his voice, _"I love you too. Have fun talk to you later."_ With that he was gone. I sighed and hung up the phone. If he only knew.

**XXX**

"Hurry up Star!" Lacy called from the front seat. I ran to the car, trying not to breath in to much of the rain-perfumed air. As soon as I crawled in she looked back and shook her head, "I like the outfit but you don't fool me."

Andi looked in the rear-view mirror and nodded, "You doing OK?"

I shrugged, "Better than I was."

They both smiled softly and I returned a small one back. "How are you two?"

"Great," Lacy answered. "The plans are almost final for the wedding. All that's left is to get the bridesmaid dresses." Her eyes flickered back to me, "Are you still up for being my maid of honor?"

My hand flew to my mouth, "my god! I can't believe I forgot! Shit!" I frantically tried to regain my composer, "Of course Lace!"

She sighed, "Thank you Star, this means the world to me."

"It's not a problem, trust me." I truly smiled, "It's an honor!"

Andi laughed, "Sure, sure." then he winked at me as Lacy smacked his arm lightly.

"So where are we going?" I asked, looking at my skinny jeans and t-shirt outfit.

They shared yet another look, "we are going clubbing!" They both laughed and I grinned, perfect!

Soon we got to the club and the music was already pumping. Lace grabbed my hand and together, we danced our way inside. The heavy beat pulsed through my veins, becoming a part of me. I swayed with the music and slowly made my way to the bar. The man behind the counter looked me over as I ordered my Caesar.

I had lost a lot of the weight I had gained during pregnancy and then some more from not eating. I knew I didn't look very healthy, but what did I care. I didn't have to impress anyone. They didn't have to like me, I never once asked anyone to. I was just lucky some did. I shook my head at my thoughts, trying to get them to leave me alone. Eventually I wandered back onto the dance floor and let myself be controlled by the music. I let myself be the beat's puppet controlled by strings attached to the pulsating speakers.

Before I knew it, I was more than a little intoxicated. The alcohol, music, and sweat became all that I was. There was no Star left, just a girl trying to party and forget. Eventually Lacy and Andreas decided we had partied enough and drug me to the car. I didn't want to leave, but decided I was in no condition to be making those choices. "Wow Star," Lace pushed my hair back, "have a little to much fun?"

I shook my head, "Just what I needed." I smiled at two of my best friends, "Thank you guys."

"For what?" Andreas asked as he pulled out of the parking lot.

I shrugged, "For the night out. I really needed it."

"We thought you would," Lace hugged me and smiled. "But now it's time we got you home and in bed."

I grinned and drifted in and out of sleep on the way home, happy to be back to my hiding place. As I left the small car I waved with a smile, "Thanks again guys! See you in a few days?"

"Of course! Now go sleep or you are gonna the most epic hangover ever!" Andreas laughed and drove off. I shook my head with a small giggle, that boy always knew how to cheer me up. I drug my feet to the door and let myself in. With a sigh I washed off my makeup and crawled into bed, ready for a good sleep.

**XXX**

I awoke with the sun streaming in the open window. For the first time in two weeks I had slept the whole night without a single nightmare waking me. It felt good, like the thing that had been missing all along. I still skipped over breakfast, but promised myself I would eat lunch today. I wandered the house, cleaning up the mess and dust.

I was shocked at what had gathered those few days nobody was roaming around. Embracing my allergies that arose with the dust, I worked up a sweat scrubbing down everything. With the music blasting, I sung along with my favorite songs. It felt good, like detox. At that thought I mentally cringed. A brief touch to that spot of my mind could send me into crazies for a week.

For days, I worked at cleaning the house. I found that if I was exhausted by the end of the day, the nightmares left me alone. Yet if I didn't work hard enough, they would rise in the middle of the night. Before long, I was running out of things to do and the nightmares were more frequent once again. I tried to busy myself, but it didn't always work.

Screams were my life. Happy Bill wasn't home I would sit up late at night, rocking myself. The pictures were to graphic for my mind. Being stupid and over thinking things, I let them become more than my imagination. I let them become my reality.

**XXX**

They pulled at me once again as I rocked myself. The images flashed before my wide eyes. A silent scream was stuck in my throat once again. The silence deafened me. They made no noise anymore, just taunted me. They held my baby, my Tyler just out of reach. They coaxed me closer to them.

It got harder and harder to stay back. I wanted nothing more than to hold my baby. Yet if I joined them, there was no turning back. I would be theirs forever. I couldn't do it. I fought them, tried to yell. A cold hand touched me and I screamed out. "What do you want from me? How can I fix this?!? What am I supposed to do!?"

"Star, Star!" I recognized the voice, yet it sounded so far away. It didn't fit with the picture. Yet they still called to me.

I thrashed around, wondering why my body felt so heavy. Screams tore my throat and I didn't care if it started to bleed. I just wanted them to leave me alone.

"Star, wake up!" Something cold hit my face and I began to come back to reality. I started to sob. "Star, what's wrong? Baby, talk to me!"

Bill's voice was demanding and I looked up at him, tears blurring his face. "They want me to hold Tyler," I whispered.

"Who do?" He asked

I shuddered, "The other side. They want me to come and join them with my baby. I want to hold my baby so bad Bill." He rocked me gently as I cried. After a few minutes I whispered once again, "but I can't leave you."

He held me close, soothing me. His hands rubbed small circles on my back and I sighed. "I love you," he murmured over and over again into my hair. Finally I regained my composer back.

"What are you doing home?" I asked him with a small voice.

"We traveled all night so we could surprise our girls." He kissed my forehead. "And I'm glad I came home. I've been missing you so much." He pulled me tight against him, still calming me. I tried to match my breathing to his, "You have lost so much weight babe."

I shrugged, "Haven't been very hungry."

He nuzzled my neck, "Are you doing OK?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" I murmured, wrapping myself around him. "I'm getting by. I'm happy you're home though."

He kissed me and I kissed him back. Our lips were hot and passionate. All of our pent up emotions came tumbling out. All the feelings words couldn't describe. It was like magic the way it seemed to solve everything. I lost myself in the kiss, overcome with love. Bill pulled me closer and I pressed myself really close. Together, we forgot our pain, left it behind in our dust.

**Author's Notes:**

**hey guys! IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**It's been forever and I've had the worst writer's block ever!!!! Not to mention my life has been kind of insane! =[ but excuses are bull shit and so IM VERY SORRY!!! please don't kill me!!!!!!! *hides in dark corner***

**THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO HAS LEFT REVIEWS! YOU INSPIRE ME TO KEEP WRITING EVERY DAY!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!! **hugglz and cookies***

**hopefully i will update again soon just for you guys!!! hope you like it!**

**Whataya want from me is an amazing song! Take a listen! Adam and Bill are a lot alike when you think about it :P**

**thanks again ppl!!!**

**~BECKY~**


	18. Nothing on You

Chapter 18

"Sammy," Ben's soft voice was in my head, "Sammy, wake up!"

Slowly my eyes opened and were met with my little brothers. "Hey buddy!" I sat up, "What are you doing here?"

"Mommy brought me over! I miss you." He hugged me tightly. "Bill said it was ok."

I grinned and hugged him back. "It is, and I've missed you too buddy. It's been forever! How's life at home?"

The conversations I held with Ben would surprise most. He was so mature compared to other kids his age. I guess that's what growing up how we did does to kids. "It's good. I like that daddy is moving back in soon." His eyes lit up and my heart fluttered. That IS big news for our family. "And Ariel has a new boyfriend. He is nice, he lets me play with them!"

"Well that's good. Are they coming over later?"

He looked thoughtful. "I don't know."

"Well," I tried to get out of bed, "Guess we will have to see won't we. Now let's go find Bill." But Ben had different ideas. He wouldn't move and I couldn't get up. "What are you doing squirt?" I tried to tickle him but he squirmed.

"You're supposed to stay here and rest." The authority in his voice shocked me. I relaxed, trying to figure out why he would be giving me such an order.

Before to long, I found out. Bill walked into the room, caring a tray full of breakfast. "Morning sweetie," he bent down and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

I smiled into the kiss, "Hey baby. Mmm, that smells delicious!"

"Just for you," he chuckled as I started to munch on the strawberries.

Both of the guys watched me with wide eyes. I stared back and eventually said, "Fine, help yourself." They dug in, stealing all the strawberries. Yet most of the pineapple was still there. "What? Are you guys fruitists or something?" I pretended to be shocked.

"What do you mean Sammy?" Ben asked me, slightly confused. The look on his young face was adorable. Bill rolled his eyes with a smile.

"You left out the pineapple!" I gasped. "The poor fruit must feel so left out." I quickly shoved a piece in my mouth, savoring the taste.

"You know what, I think you're right Star," Bill helped himself to a piece. "They must feel awfully lonely on that plate all by themselves."

Ben giggled as we fed each other. "I want some too!" Bill gave him a piece, which my little brother gobbled up quickly.

We spent over an hour, sitting on the bed talking. I snuggled closer to Bill, kissing his neck lightly. He held me tight to him, as close as possible. Ben sat close, chatting away. He didn't mind when Bill and I would share quick kisses. Then he asked Bill about the tour and how he got into music. I never knew Ben wanted to do stuff in music. The talk let me in to the world I had been missing.

All to soon we had to get up, "How about you and Bill go play," I suggested.

"Ok! Come on Billa!" Ben tugged the raven-haired man's hand.

Bill looked at me and I mouthed, "Shower." He nodded and walked off with a big smile. I headed for the shower, not wanting to waste any time I could be spending with my family.

**XXX**

"Star!" Gustav wrapped me in his huge arms. "I missed you young one!"

I hugged him back and started pounding his back. "Gus, can't. Breathe." I gasped as all the air was forced from my lungs.

He let go quickly, "Oh god, I'm sorry!" He looked me up and down. "You look, gaunt." A frown claimed his features.

"I know, but not for long. If Bill feeds me like this every day I'm gonna be fat before long!" I laughed.

"Eww!" Tom walked up, covering his ears. "I don't need to know what you and Bill do in your 'recreational' time."

I slapped his arm, "You pervert. You wish I was talking about that."

"Damn," he sighed, pretending to be sad. "You caught me."

"Tom," Amy sighed, "You are a tool."

Her straight face was pretty impressive. Tom pouted, "Hey! That's not nice." She kissed him and he instantly perked up. "But I guess I can forgive you."

"Best, else you weren't getting any tonight." My jaw dropped in shock that little Amy said that. She simply stuck out her tongue and giggled as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"What?" Georg jumped up from where he was sleeping. "What the fuck is going on here?" Panic was evident in his voice.

"Hey Geo!" I jumped on top of him, making him become even more confused. My good mood was only getting better seeing everyone I loved. "Wake up, wake up, wake up!"

"Noooo," he moaned, clutching his head.

I giggled in his ear and asked innocently, "Did someone drink a little to much last night?"

"Gus, get this animal off of me! I'm dyyyyyiiiiiiinnnnggggggg!" Poor Geo squirmed on the couch.

Gustav threw a pillow at him, "Grow up."

Our dark-haired friend lay there for a while. After a few moments I poked him with a finger. "Are you still alive?" I received a growl in response. With a laugh I sat down on top of his feet. Bill sat down beside me.

I looked up to find everyone staring at me. The only ones missing were the twins, Lacy, and Andi. I blushed, looking down again. Finally mom spoke up, "I'm so happy we are all together today." Just like that, the ice was broke and everyone started speaking at once.

Georg's head came up, "I think I'm paralized! I can't feel my legs!" He paused for a second. "Oh wait, it's because two dumbasses are squishing me!"

I gently slid onto the floor, giggling. "Was that a fat joke?"

"Never! Well, maybe about Bill, but never you." Bill stuck his tongue out at his friend, who returned the gesture. I rolled my eyes, this never got old. I grabbed my husband's hand and entwined our fingers. Our big, dysfunctional family was together once again. In the locket around my neck Tyler was with us too.

**XXX**

**Two Months Later**

"So Tom, I hear the famous player is getting married. Is this true?" The reporter asked the dreaded guitarist.

One of the rare blushes graced his cheeks. "I never thought I'd say this until I was old and gray, but yes I am."

"Well, there you have it people, Tom Kaulitz is getting married!" Some of the crowd booed but most cheered, drowning out those others. "We all know that Bill is already married, so now we are wondering, who's next?" This question was directed towards the G's.

Gustav remained silent as usual so Georg took over. "Gus here, he has a pen pal." Those brown eyes winked towards the cameras. "He met her at one of our concerts a while ago. She's from Canada. As for me, I'm still playing the field. So anyone who is looking, come look me up!"

I had to cover my mouth to stifle my laughter. That man just didn't give up. I shook my head, wondering how he could announce that on national television. He sure had guts. As they walked off, he was the last one in. Many girls had stopped him along the way. "Wow Geo, how was that for ya." I stuck my tongue out at him.

He grinned like a kid in a candy shop, holding out his hands. Inside them papers were trying to fall away. I took a quick look and they were full of phone numbers and names. I shook my head. "You're insane, do you know that?" He just grinned stupidly.

Just then Jost came up. "What the hell Georg! You just advertised yourself, do you know how bad the paps are gonna be now?"

"Calm down Dave," I patted the taller man's shoulder, "At least he didn't say his outrageous price!" I winked at Geo as I walked away, leaving them both speechless.

**XXX**

_Dear Gustav,_

_I miss you so much with every day. I still can't believe you would want some Canadian girl like me. The girls over there are just so much more interesting! But I am happy you want to keep me in your life. It still amazes me how you knew how to make me so happy so quickly. You are most definitely my best friend. _

_I need a friend right now..._

_I hope to hear from you soon Gus =]. I miss you. Maybe some day you can come visit me in Montreal._

_Love always, _

_Camille_

Gustav folded up the paper and placed it in his pocket. Her life was falling apart and he could do nothing about it. He just wanted to be there for the girl of his dreams. Maybe, just maybe, she would fall in love with him. He sat alone, thinking about his choices that created a fork in his perfect life.

**Author's Notes:**

**ok ppl... well to say the least i am so fucking sorry! I have been the worst author ever! My life has been a roller coaster ride!**

**I dedicate this entire story to my bestie, JR. RIP man i miss u 3**

**Thank you for reviews! ill try to update more often now! Just started my new job today. I promise ill be working on getting new stuff up here! **

**Pls review even tho i have left u all hanging! im sorry guys! *hugglz***

**~BECKY~**


	19. Paparazzi

**Author's Notes: this was written and ready to post by last Monday but the sight was down so now its up! Sorry for the wait!**

**PAPARAZZI**

**~Lady Gaga~**

"So, I was thinking its about time we head back to Canada." Jost clapped his hands together. I looked at the guys, they were all grinning. I knew for a fact that they loved traveling to Canada. The fans were pretty wild over in North America.

Bill squeezed my hand and grinned from ear to ear. "Would we be doing a MuchMusic appearance?" I saw the sparkle of hope in his eyes. He loved that show.

"I am working on it. But no promises!" He smiled, knowing how much they were loving him right now.

Tom's face flashed for a second and he asked, "When exactly will we be going?"

"I'm not to sure, why?"

"Well I just remembered," he looked serious, "Andi and Lacy's wedding is coming up. Within the next two months."

I smacked my forehead. I had completely forgotten! How could I forget my best friends' wedding! I felt so bad. "Umm, it will most definitely have to be put off in order for your band to go." I told Jost.

He sighed, rubbing his eyes. "And there is no way they can switch their date sooner?"

Bill rolled his eyes and Tom scowled. Georg threw a pillow and it hit Jost in the face. "What the hell? Of course they cant! And Bill and Tom are in the wedding party!"

David held up his hands and sighed. "Fine, but we are leaving two days after!"

We all grinned. He was allowing us one recovery day. Gustav sat quiet in the corner for most of the rest of the meeting. The boys would be playing a show in every province. Finally the blonde spoke up, "When exactly will we be hitting up Montreal?"

I grinned and threw him a wink knowing what, or who, he was talking about. He blushed, hanging his head. I giggled softly and remembered the nervous girl from the concert. She was perfect for him. As we all split to go our separate ways I pulled Gustav back. "Have you been talking to that girl lately?"

"Yes," he blushed, "we write each other every week."

"That's so cute!" I squealed and hugged him. "And now you will be able to see her! You gotta get her back stage to hang out with Amy and I!" I insisted.

He laughed and hugged me back, "Thank you." He grinned into my hair, completely content and happy we would be going there soon.

**XXX**

_Dear Camille,_

_I wish I could be there for you. I know how much pain you are in. I hate that I can't be there to give you a hug when you need it. _

_Of course I want to keep you in my life! You are my best friend. You are the only one I can tell everything too. Even the things I can't tell Georg... My goal is to keep my friends happy and smiling. Especially you. You have that special smile that can melt anybody's heart. You are just so sweet. _

_We just found out that we are coming back to Canada in two months! I'm so excited! I get to see you if you want. *insert smile* Hopefully we can hang out a little bit. I miss you Cam. Can't wait to hear from you!_

_Love Gustav_

The blonde man smile while writing. He hoped he wasn't giving away to much about his emotions. With a deep breath he slid the letter in the envelope and sealed it. Outside he handed it to the driver and put on his shades. Off to an interview once again.

**XXX**

Their interview today was filled with questions about the boys' love lives once again. Honestly, I didn't know how they did it sometimes. The same questions were always asked, yet they always seemed passionate in their answers. They never once rolled their eyes as I did many times. And my Billa was always smiling for the camera. His pearly teeth shone and I craved to feel them with my tongue.

I blushed, feeling stupid for thinking like that. I had to control myself! We were in front of the public eye at these things, even backstage. Just then, they had audience questions. "Bill, how are you and Star doing now?" A slim girl asked. My eyes narrowed, she looked like Cassandra.

"Amazing," Bill's smooth, calm voice soothed me and I realized how stupid I was being. Cassandra was still locked up, for a long, long time. "We are really happy and enjoying our break spending time together."

"Tom, you told me I would be different from the other girls, now you are with _HER_." A short dark-haired girl moped.

Tom looked at her with squinted eyes, not remembering who the hell she was. "I'm sorry love," he kind of shrugged, "When I met Amy, there was no denying her. She is perfection and I am stuck like glue to her." The girl had tears running down her face and I felt sorry for the girl. She probably thought she would be his last one night stand ever. Every girl seemed to think that.

All of a sudden there was a shout from the back of the crowd. "Sorry, didn't catch that." The interviewer smiled.

Then someone handed the girl a microphone. "Georg Listing, will you marry me?" A big, breathless girl managed to get out.

Everyone went completely silent. "Umm, what's your name sweetheart?" He asked politely.

"Jackie," she smiled hugely up at the boys, winking.

"Well Jackie, I'm afraid I don't marry on a whim. If I did, David may kill me." He laughed, "But hang around after and we can talk," he winked, leading on national television. The girl literally swooned right then and there. I grinned, maybe he would actually take her up someday.

They came backstage and I put my arm around Geo's shoulders. "So big man, who's the hotty out there waiting for you." I winked.

He laughed, poking me in the ribs. "That, ladies and gentlemen, is one helluva beast! Now excuse me while I go and recruit her number. Who knows, maybe she will come for supper tonight." He smiled, leaving us alone.

David walked up and rolled his eyes. "What a guy."

The band laughed and I quickly kissed Bill before their little meeting. As they talked, I looked around the studio. It hadn't changed much over the last few years since I was just watching the boys on the screen. There were a few more autographs hanging around. It was then I noticed the picture of Bill and I at our photo shoot.

Slowly, I ran my fingers around the frame. Neither of us had signed it by the looks of it. "Excuse me?" I called over a worker.

"Yes ma'am?" He smiled down at me. He had to be near as tall as Bill and Tom!

"Umm," I looked anywhere but at him. "How exactly did you guys get this photo?"

He grinned, "Great story actually. Turns out the new makeup artist here worked with the two of you there. A lot of these photos were added by Josh," he shrugged.

"Wait," I interrupted him. "Josh Josh?" The grin on my face went from ear to ear. I ran to the makeup area I had seen the boys come out of earlier. "JOSH!" I screamed.

Sure enough, my old friend poked a head out from behind a curtain and grinned. "STAR! How are you? You look amazing! I missed you!" I was grabbed in a nice warm hug.

"I missed you too! I'm pretty good! Yourself? You are looking pretty fine." I winked and giggled as he shook his butt. "Hey watch it Mr., I'm a married woman now." I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Oh I know!" He laughed and hugged me once again. "But unfortunately I must get back to work." he sighed. "Text me?"

"Of course!" He gave me his number and I tucked it away. "Miss having you around Josh."

"I miss you too Love. Don't forget about me now!" He kissed my cheeks and ran back behind the curtain, getting back to work. I walked back out with a huge smile. That was my Josh as always. I grabbed Bill's hand and told him I had finally seen my friend.

He smiled down at me and gently kissed me. "I love you Star."

**XXX**

The white gown draped from Lacy's body in complete elegance. Her hair hung in ringlets, framing her perfect, pale face. I gently finished up her makeup with one last swipe of the blush brush. "You look gorgeous." I murmured.

"Thank you," she blushed, checking it out for herself in the mirror.

She fidgeted with her veil and hair, nervous as hell. "You look amazing! What's wrong Lace?"

"I don't know," she sighed.

I hugged her tightly. "I have been there sweetie. You will be fine. It is so, so amazing to finally be joined in every way." I smiled and kissed her cheeks.

She tried to smile, "I don't know if I can do it Star..."

**Author's Notes:**

**Well here it is ppl! Hope u enjoy =] I'm working on getting these done as soon as possible! **

**I don't know or own the boys unfortunately! =[**

**JR lives on forever so long as we never forget! 3 imy**

**R & R plz! **

***HUGGLZ* to those who reviewed! **

**~BECKY~**

P.S. HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL! =]


	20. In Colour

**In Colour**

**~Jamie Johnson~**

I stopped, seeing the tears in my best friend's eyes. "Lacy, you can do this! You have wanted this since we were little kids."

"I know," she sniffled, "I'm just scared. What if we aren't happy? What if once we are married, everything changes?"

I brushed her hair lightly, "Don't worry about stupid stuff like that. You two have been together this long, what makes you think that will change? You were made for one another." I hugged her tightly. "Now let's go get you married!"

She laughed, dabbing under her eyes for any tears. She squeezed my hand, "Thank you Star. You are the greatest friend anyone could ever ask for. I love you."

"Love you too darling. Now hurry, or we will be late!" We ran as fast as our shoes would allow us, praying we weren't too late. When we finally got there, breathless, we were met with a huge crowd of people. Lacy gulped, more nervous than ever. "Deep breaths." I murmured to her.

She nodded and followed my instructions. I quickly ran over her, making sure she looked perfect. I then checked myself in the mirror as Amy and one of our friends from school walked up, ready to walk down first. We all hugged the beautiful bride tightly. With a final nod from Lacy, the music started and we walked down the aisle. With a smile I remembered my own wedding, so happy my best friend was finally getting her perfect man.

All of the men were done up so amazingly. I silently congratulated Josh, glad he had been invited to this wedding after I forgot to invite him to my own. As I watched two of my best friends exchange vows, I couldn't help tearing up. They were perfect for one another. At the monumental kiss, I started clapping as loud as I could. Soon the other guests joined in. The priest smiled, "I know pronounce you Man and Wife."

They kissed again and we all cheered. Tom was by far the loudest. I guess marriage really can change a man. Slowly we all trailed out behind the newly-weds. Paparazzi awaited the crowd and we were quickly ushered into a limo with tinted windows. 'Just Married' was written on the back window in huge letters.

"That was a gorgeous wedding!" Amy squealed.

"Agreed! I'm going to miss all the weddings." I winked at Bill, "oh wait, we have plenty more, don't we?"

He nodded his head, "Indeed, fine lady, we do."

"Damn," I joked, earning a kiss to my forehead.

"Excuse me," Andi broke into our joking by tapping his champagne glass. "We just wanted to thank you all for being a part of our special day. It means the world to us."

"Hear, hear!" Gustav raised his glass and we all drank. Let the celebration begin!

We went to the Lacy's grandfather's old farm for their pictures. The old buildings and the clouds with the sun poking between made for a gorgeous scene. It took my breath away. If you stood there in silence, you could almost hear the wind whispering in you ear; telling you of all the long-lost stories. I stood there for a while, admiring nature.

"What you doing?" Bill whispered as he wrapped his arm around my waist.

I sighed, leaning into him, "Just relaxing." I hadn't realized it was the truth until I found I could finally breath properly again. All the stress of helping Lacy prepare was slowly ebbing from my pores.

My Billa held me like that for a long time. We both breathed deeply, not wanting to disturb the peaceful perfection. After a while we continued to take pictures. The photographer was extremely good to everyone. He seemed to know exactly what Lacy was thinking for the photos. I knew they would turn out amazing.

**XXX**

After the supper Bill pulled me close and I breathed in his scent. "Let's go back to the farm to watch the sunset," he murmured in my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

"Ok," I whispered back, butterflies errupting in my stomach. He grabbed my hand and we went to his car. We drove and drove, talking about how happy Lace and Andi looked. Them becoming married was the final piece to our family puzzle.

When we arrived at the farm, Bill pulled a blanket from the trunk. We walked hand in hand to the barn, where we would have the best view. Carefully, we climbed the fragile steps to the loft. I grabbed the blanket and lay it out carefully. Bill lay down, propping himself up on one elbow and winked at me. I blushed, feeling like a school-girl. Slowly I lowered myself beside him and cuddled into him.

A gentle breeze came from the west, cooling off the warm day. Soundlessly and slowly, the sun began to set behind the horizon. We watched in silence as Bill's long fingers gently toyed with the strap of my dress. I playfully swatted his hand away and he grinned from ear to ear. "What's wrong babe?"

"Absolutely nothing," I murmured and kissed him. Slowly one of his hands slipped inside my skirt. I bit his lip lightly as he pressed against my warmth. He moaned as he slipped a finger in. I leaned my head against his shoulder as he continued to tease me. Finally I pulled away and he pouted with those sexy puppy-dog eyes. I grinned and kissed him again.

Slowly, I began to remove my dress. He watched, licking his thin lips. "Come here baby," he begged in a husky voice.

"Just be patient," I whispered, slowly helping him unbutton his shirt. I played with his nipple ring before tracing his ribs and abs. I loved simply sitting there, memorizing his body.

He moaned and pulled me closer for another kiss. "Star, god I love you."

"I love you too." His breath made my lips tingle. We started making out and it took me a few minutes to realize I was the only one with underwear on. He helped me out of them and pulls me close. Slowly we become one, joined in every way. My heart pounded so hard it threatened to break a rib. Bill kissed my chest lightly, whispering loving things against my pale skin.

Afterwards, we laid there looking at the stars. It was perfection, the two of us alone and able to make love. It had been forever since we had felt like that. My heart threatened to explode with the love I was feeling for my Billa. Perfection was in the air as we lay, wrapped in each other's arms.

**XXX**

When we returned, the party was in full swing. I couldn't help but laugh as I saw Tom grinding up against Amy. She was giggling as he teased her, a drink in his hand. Gustav was dancing with one of Lacy's cousins, a satisfied smile rested upon his face. When I looked for Georg, I couldn't see him. We figured he must be finding himself a woman for the night.

"Star!" Andreas called me over. "Where did you two go?"

I blushed and he winked at me. "Oh, we went out."

"Oh my god! You two? Oh boy!" Lacy was grinning like a fool, the champagne affecting her already. She hit me in the shoulder playfully, swaying a bit. "You horn-dogs, you!"

"Lacy," Bill whined jokingly. "Why does she always gotta embarrass me?"

I wrapped my arms around his waist, "Cause she thinks she can be a meaner now that she is married." I stuck my tongue out at my two best friends. "Congratulations again guys."

Bill grabbed us both drinks and pulled me onto the dance floor. "I can't wait to have you naked in the hotel room tonight." He whispered into my ear.

I turned beat red and turned to face him. "You are going to have _me_ naked? I don't think so! I'm going to have _you_ naked!" I gently nipped at his neck and he chuckled, pulling me closer to his body. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." He kissed me. In the middle of our dance, they announced it was time for the groom's dance. I ran out with all of the other bridesmaids. We all gathered around him and they started playing Brittany Spears. I saw Bill's eyes go wide as he and Tom burst out laughing. The three of them had loved Brittany when they were younger.

Slowly we started swinging our hips as we circled Andreas. Then we swarmed him and started dancing. Before he could say _I'm Married_ we had his shirt flying across the dance floor. Lacy caught it and threw it on. As we grinded against our friend the guys brought Lacy to the dance floor as well. Suddenly the song changed to a N'Sync song. The old American bands had been our music when we were younger.

The guys began to grind against Lacy and fist pump like champs. Us girls started wolf-whistling as Andi broke into the crowd and joined the other groomsmen. Lacy began to get spun around, one guy at a time. As she reached the end of the line she fell right into her husband's arms. They kissed and all of us on the dance floor smothered them in a giant group hug. They were perfect for one another. I was so happy everything has turned out alright in the end.

**XXX**

"Everyone ready for the trip?" Jost called out, supervising the crew throwing the bags into the SUVs.

Gustav sat drumming against the tire. "So long as we get moving right away. I swear if Bill has to redo his makeup one more time!"

I laughed and put my hands on the blond man's shoulders. "Settle down Gusti. You will see Camille soon." I patted his head lightly and he shrugged away.

Georg came around the corner. "Is Gustav being a cranky-pants again?" He punched his blond friend. Gustav then grabbed his long brown hair. Before I knew it they were on the ground wrestling. When Tom saw he jumped on top of them. I heard a rip and Tom wailed.

"Dude, I'm sorry!" Gustav held a piece of cloth in his hands. "Your pants are so baggy I just didn't expect your underwear to be so damn tight!"

Tom glared and slowly put his hands down his pants. "My fucking ass you douche! Oh god it hurts!" At the sight I collapsed and laughed so hard I thought I was going to pee my pants.

Jost came around the corner and stared at us. "What the?" Then he shook his head and walked away. "We are leaving in ten." He threw out over his shoulder.

**Author's Notes:**

**ok, so I am so so so sorry! :[ I have had most of this written for months then got a writer block once again. I couldn't figure out how I wanted to finish it off.**

**This way I have it open for the next chapter of their life. There probably won't be too many more chapters before this story comes to a close. Your thoughts are greatly appreciated! =] =]**

**If you are still following please please read and review! I love to hear your thoughts =] **

**Thanks to those of you who have reviewed and keep subscribed to my stories! You guys make my day! =]=] **

**~BECKY~**


	21. Amazing

**Amazing**

**~Hedley~**

The van was packed full like a can of sardines. I tried to push Georg's head away as he snored in my face. My face puckered as his warm breath was too close for comfort. Bill chuckled at my discomfort, kissing my forehead. "We will be there soon love."

"God, I hope so!" I yawned. "Van's seem so much smaller here in America! Seriously, do they think all people are under six feet tall?"

"Be quiet Star," Tom teased, "sometimes you are more of a diva than Bill."

I stuck my tongue out at him and folded my arms. This caused Georg to wake with a start. "Wha? What's going on?"

Gustav smacked the back of the brunette's head, "Nothing dumb-ass, besides you almost killing Star with your toxic breath that is."

Georg crossed his arms as well and pouted with me. "Wow, you guys both on your period or what?" Tom teased.

All of a sudden my stomach clenched. What week was it? When was I last actually on it? I wracked my brain and couldn't remember. I grabbed my phone and set an alarm to remind me to check my bags when we got to the hotel. I couldn't even remember the last time I took my birth control.

"Something wrong?" Bill's eyebrows creased with worry.

I squeezed his hands, "Not at all lover." Yet my stomach continued to clench. I grabbed the locket around my neck; Tyler's heart.

The gang began to fall asleep as the sun set and the jet lag grabbed them. I sat there, thinking about the last couple months since the accident. So much had happened, it was mostly a blur. Life seemed to move to fast for me to keep up lately.

Three hours after being squished in the small van, we reached the check-point. It was the middle of the night and my eyes hurt from lack of sleep. The guys crawled out slowly, yawning and stretching. Bill snuck up and wrapped his arms around me. "I love you my beautiful wife."

I leaned back into his slim frame, "I love you too Bill."

Just then Tom ran over, snapping his phone shut. "Guess what Bill! Mom and Gordon are coming to Montreal!"

The twins started jumping up and down, hugging one another. "Seriously?" Bill's eyes shone like a child at Christmas.

"Yes! God, I can't believe we hardly saw them this break!." The man with braids practically shouted.

I grabbed them both in a hug. "It was sweet of you guys to buy them that vacation though."

"We know," they answered at the exact same time.

"Boys!" David interrupted the moment, "Are you loading your things tonight or not? We still have a nine-hour bus ride before we hit New York."

Gustav sat by himself, drumming on his luggage as he waited to load up his stuff. The grin on his face spread from ear to ear. "What's up Gus?"

The blonde snapped out of his daydream with a blush. "Hey Star, not a lot. Just got off the phone with Camille. I'm just so excited!"

Georg came up behind us and clapped a large hand on his best friend's shoulder, "Two more days my friend. Speaking of friends, think she could hook me up with one?" He smirked and both Gustav and I punched his shoulder. "Ouch!"

"Well? What do you expect you perv." Gustav chuckled as he spoke.

"Hey Geo," I laughed with them, "I thought you found yourself a woman at the wedding anyway?"

"Meh," he shrugged his shoulders, "it didn't work out. Turns out she was married I guess."

This threw us all into another fit of giggles. Some days Georg was just too much to handle. His woman hunts always ended when the women's men found out about him. As tough as he likes to pretend he is sometimes, we all know he is a huge softly who would never fight.

"You three," Jost appeared suddenly. "Everyone else is ready to go, what's the holdup?" The annoyance was evident in his voice. The sleep in his eyes seemed about ready to take over his body.

"Sorry sir," we all mumbled, quickly throwing our things into the bus. Three in the morning was definitely not his time of day to be awake!

**XXX**

When we arrived at the hotel, Simone and Gordon were waiting for us in the lobby. The twins freaked out, not expecting them until we were in Montreal. "What are you doing here?" Bill asked as he hugged his parents.

"Well, we just couldn't wait to see you boys, so we had our tickets switched to flights here instead of Germany." Simone answered, hugging Tom tightly.

"We missed you guys," the twins spoke at the same time again.

"We missed you guy's too." Gordon grinned, hugging the boys.

"And you Star," Simone grabbed me in one of her legendary hugs. "How are you?" Concern was in her eyes, despite her effort to hide it.

"I'm ok." I smiled softly.

"Good," Gordon hugged me as well.

Soon the G's were wrapped up in hugs as well. "Hey Mom and Pops!" Georg grinned. "How's she hanging?"

The parents rolled their eyes and laughed with the group. "Georg, you never change do you?" Simone's laugh was exactly like Bill's.]

"Never Simone," he chuckled as well. "I am Peter Pan, I will never grow up!"

"We all have no doubt in that," Jost muttered under his breath, completely unhappy. "Can't we all just go to bed?"

With much grumbling, the group finally moved on to the rooms. Simone and Gordon were on the floor above our level so we said goodnight in the elevator. Finally Bill grabbed my hand, taking me to our temporary home. As soon as the door shut behind us, he had me pinned to it, his lips attacking my harshly.

"You have no idea how long I have wanted to do that," he moaned against my mouth and starting to kiss down my neck. I felt heat pooling between my legs and sighed. "God I love you Sammy."

"I love you too Bill," I moaned as his hand began to massage my breasts.

The teasing was driving me wild. I pushed against him and he chuckled, pulling away. "Soon baby," he murmured into my hair, "soon."

I grabbed him close to me as he tried to leave. "Kiss me more!"

"Sweetheart, relax. I'll be right back." Slowly I unlatched my fingers from the cloth of his tight shirt. I watched as he walked into the bathroom and locked the door. With a sigh I walked over to the bed and lay down. As I was waiting the lights were dimmed and my husband stood before me, wearing nothing and carrying a candle in one hand, a rose in the other. "I love you Samantha, so much."

I sat there in shock, watching as he came closer. Slowly he set down the candle and kissed me gently before handing me the rose. "What's this all about Bill?" I muttered as he slowly began to undress me.

"Tonight, this is about you." His hands began to roam my body as I arched my back closer to him. I wanted him to touch me, to kiss me. I wanted him to take me tonight to be his one and only.

Gently he lay be back on the bed and fulfilled my wishes. He reminded me how much he loved me, how much he always wanted me. My body screamed in pleasure as he groaned and moaned with me.

Afterwards we lay entangled in one another's arms. I leaned my head against his chest and listened to his heart beat. The steady thump pressed me closer and closer to the edge of sleep. Right before my eyes closed for the night I heard Bill say, "Sam, we are destined to have a family. You and I will be perfect parents, and you will be the most amazing mother. I love you."

The smile on my face stuck as I drifted towards dreamland. Life was finally beginning to seem perfect again. Everything was right. Yet there was a small nagging in the back of my mind, telling me things weren't quite as perfect as I hoped. My gut was telling me something was going to happen. Good or bad, I wasn't sure. I wasn't even sure I wanted to find out. Hadn't we been through enough already?

**XXX**

Being at the hotel in New York for the night, I woke up and turned the room upside-down. The feeling in my stomach wouldn't give. A restless night had me tossing outfit after outfit out of my suitcases, searching for the small box. Yet it wouldn't turn up anywhere! My heart pounded as the small locket cut into my palms. God had to be playing a cruel trick on me. There was no way I could be pregnant! The doctors told me I would be lucky if I could ever have a child after the accident.

Sweat started to soak my back as the stress pumped my blood faster. The room began to spin and I sat on the floor. My stomach rolled as it had so much the last few weeks. My body began to tingle as shock set in. I became numb, the empty birth-control packet dated two months ago laying in my hands.

**Author's Notes:**

**So another little bit between updates! I hope you like the chappy tho! Full of fluff till the end ;) There will probably be one or two more chapters of the story. If anyone wants to see a short fourth story place in the future, let me know!**

**To those who review me so kindly, thank you! =] =] *Bill shaped cookies***

**I figured I should say that I don't know or own the boy's at all! I do own my own characters tho! =]**

**Read and Reviews for Gustav shaped cookies! =]**

**~BECKY~**


	22. The Best Day

**The Best Day**

**~Taylor Swift~**

I brushed my teeth, attempting to get the sour taste out of my mouth. This was happening. This was cruel joke from God, nobody fooling with my mind. There is no doubt in my mind that I am having a baby. Bill and I are starting a family. The thoughts sent me over the emotional edge and I lay down beside my handsome husband. I watched his bare chest rise and fall as he slept deeply.

I snuggled closer to him, breathing in his scent. I would have to buy a pregnancy test today to be sure. My body began to relax as my eyes closed. Bill would be so excited! I drifted into dreamland, thinking about the little one I am sure is growing in my stomach.

**XXX**

"Baby, what's wrong?" Bill asked me, wrapping an arm around my waist as we walked back to the bus.

I smiled up at him, "Absolutely nothing Bill; everything is perfect." I sat beside the men as they plopped themselves in front of the TV to play video games. I couldn't help but smile as Tom kicked Georg's ass in _Halo_.

"You douche!" Georg shouted, "You're cheating! I see you cheating!"

"I'm not! I swe-" Tom didn't finish his sentence before he was tackled to the ground. Georg grabbed his new braids, yanking and causing Tom to cry out. He then grabbed the brunette's long hair and pulled as well. They rolled around for a bit, kicking and swinging fists while we all laughed. Gustav jumped on top of them with a war-cry. The two stopped, trying to figure out what happened before attacking him.

"WHAT is going on here?" Amy stormed out, unhappy about being woken up once again.

The three men stopped fighting, innocent smiles on their faces. Their eyes twinkled as they all had the grace to blush before looking at their feet like little kids. "Sorry Amy." They all chanted together before wrapping her in a hug.

"You guys realize you got lucky, right?" She smirked, throwing me a wink. "If I were Jost, you would be so dead!"

We all chuckled and Amy and I took the wii-motes. "What shall we play?" I asked, being silly with my friend.

"Oooo! Can we play _Rockband_?" She clapped her hands together as Tom got it out for us. "Thank you lover." She kissed him as he sat down beside her. We played the game, switching up who played what. Eventually the guys wanted to play so we went to the bunks. Sitting down, I took a deep breathe as the nausea caught up with me."Are you ok Star?"

"Ya," I sighed, blushing "I think I'm finally ok."

She looked at me with her jaw slack. "Really? Are you?" I giggled like a school-girl with a new crush and she grabbed me hands. "Tell me! You're killing me with suspense!"

"Well, I'm not sure. But I am way late, and we haven't exactly been using protection." I paused, my brain wondering if it could really be happening finally. "The doctor's told me I wouldn't be able to have kids after everything," I trailed off.

"Sweetheart, this is amazing news!" Her smile was blinding. "Let's go get you that test in Montreal!"

"I'm so nervous." I confided in her. "I don't want to get my hopes up, you know? I mean, after losing Tyler, I'm scared it could happen again. I have been too hard on my body over the years. What if I'm broken and can't bring a baby into this world?"

I slumped against Amy, tears escaping my eyes slowly. "Shhh Sam, it's ok. Just relax. Everything that happened before was an accident; non of it was your fault!" I leaned against her, emotionally drained after spilling my greatest fears. We sat like that for over an hour and she rubbed small circles on my back, comforting me.

"Thank you," I finally sat up, wiping tears away.

"Sam, you know that it's no problem. You are the closest thing I have ever had to a sister. You are my best friend."

I hugged her again. _Best friends_. I liked that. It would be nice to have another friend into my now limited selection.

**XXX**

When we arrived at the hotel, Camille was there waiting. At first, Saki tried to hold her back, not realizing who she was. Gustav finally got his attention and it clicked into place. "I'm so sorry!" He kept apologizing. It was the first time I have ever seen the big man embarrassed.

Gustav waved him off, embracing the girl in his arms. "Camille!"

"Gus," she said in a breathy voice, "you're finally here!"

We watched as the blond man wrapped her in his arms as if they have been together forever and he finally come home after a while away. For the most part, it was true. After a few minutes, they pulled apart and sat down, talking about everything and anything. Jost came back and handed all of us our room keys.

We walked up and I squeezed Bill's hand. "Do you mind if Amy and I go for a walk around in a bit?"

He engulfed me in a hug, "Silly, you know you don't have to ask me. I'm not your father."

"Oh but you are my sugar daddy." I teased, winking at him.

"Oh god!" He chuckled, smacking my butt lightly. "Sometime I think you are crazy Star."

"Crazy about you." I sauntered away, shaking my hips. Shortly after he grabbed me by the waist and picked me up before throwing me to the bed. I squealed as he straddle me, a long leg on either side of me. "Bill! Get off!"

"Oh I will," his voice was husky, his breathe warm on my face. He captured my lips in a passionate kiss. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." I rolled so we were both on our sides and cuddled closer. "Forever Bill."

Meanwhile Gustav and Camille had wandered up to Gustav's room. "How have you been?" The blond man's thumb was rubbing circles on the back of her hand.

"Ok," she smiled, "better now that you are here." She giggled as he kissed her hand.

"You have no idea how badly I wanted to be here with you over our break."Gustav ran a hand through his short blonde hair.

Camille grabbed his other hand, "I know, but you are here now; that's all that matters."

A blush crept up the blonde man's face as he stared at their entwined fingers. Slowly, he raised her hand and brushed his mouth over her fingers once again. "I know that it was hard losing your dad Cam. I would be lost without my father. Would you mind taking me to the grave, so I could say hello?"

"Of course I'll take you." She whispered with tears in her eyes. This amazing man actually wanted to be a part of her life.

**XXX**

"Star," Amy beat on the bathroom door. "Are you ever going to come out of there and let me see the results?"

I sat on the counter, trying to calm my shaking body. Slowly I stepped down and unlocked the door. Amy practically fell in and beelined for the test. She turned and looked at me, raising her eyebrows. "Go ahead," I spoke quietly.

She looked at the test and set in on the counter carefully before letting out a loud scream. "I can't believe it! Congratulations Sam!" She hugged me tightly, squeezing the air I had managed to regain back out quickly. "I'm so happy for you!"

"Thanks Amy," I laughed, the truth finally settling in. _I am having a baby!_ I mentally screamed. "I just can't believe it! Bill is going to be so happy! And Simone, she is going to freak out!"

We sat on the bathroom floor, laughing like maniacs, happy tears streaming down our cheeks. Neither of us noticed Tom run in, worrying about the screaming he heard. Looking down at us with a confused look on his face, the man with braids coughed.

"Oh, hey baby." Amy looked up at him with a gigantic grin. When she looked over at me she began to giggle again. "Star, look at your face!"

"You should look at yours!" I countered with a chuckle. I was so happy!

"Are you girls ok?" Tom asked, the confusion still evident in his voice. "We heard screaming."

This sent Amy and I into another fit of giggles. Tom smiled at us weirdly, waiting for an answer. "We are perfect," I finally answered. "Give us a few minutes please Tomi? We have to fix our makeup, then we will come find you guys."

"Ok," he walked out of the bathroom, shaking his head. _'Crazy women'_he thought to himself and chuckled as he went to inform the others that the girls were fine.

**Author's Notes:**

***Rises from the dead* So it has been a while and I don't know if anybody else is reading this fic still... but here is the long awaited update! :) **

**If you are still reading or find this story, let me know what you think :) should I make another story after this? There are only a few chapters left of **_**Rejuvenated**_** ! So let me know!**

**Any reviews, even if they are angered ones about the crazy long wait, are very much appreciated and give me inspiration ;)**

**~BECKY~**


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